10 things my White Friends should do for me during Black History Month.

10 things my White Friends should do for me during Black History Month.

Thanx to Whoopi Goldberg, Sherri Shepherd, & the entire cast of The View for giving this blog a shout out! And I wanna extend a special welcome to the new readers. Enjoy!

On January 31st, 2011 I posted a blog entitled "10 things my White friends aren't allowed to do during Black History Month." A lot of people loved it, and other people sent me hate mail afterward. Nevertheless, it sparked a discussion about Black History Month... so I'm at it again.

Black History Month is a time to celebrate African Americans' contributions to society & acknowledge the role that we played in shaping the world as we know it. As Americans, our cultural differences are  part of what makes us who we are, and although some of my closest friends are of a different ethnicity than I am, I wouldn't trade them for the world. Black History Month presents an opportunity for those friends to prove that they feel the same way about me. So to celebrate this special time of the year, here are 10 things that my White friends could should do for me during the month of February:

  • Help me catch a cab. I don't know if you agree that white privilege exists or not, but you guys definitely have an advantage when it comes to hailing taxis. If you really want to show your appreciation for Black Americans this month, then step to the curb & raise your arm, and when six or seven eager cab drivers pull over just make sure that I hop into one of them. Don't do it for me. Do it for justice.
  • Set me up on interracial dates. In many parts of this country, segregation still exists, and the proof can be seen in schools and communities. We must make a conscious effort to seek unity instead of emphasizing racial differences. One way to do this would be to hook me up with hot White guys during Black History Month. So that means if I wanted my boy Matt to hook me up with his brother Jon, he could not be a player hater, he'd totally have to do it.
    bhm3
  • Explain to me why so many White people are named Matt and Jon. Seriously...what's the deal? Do you know how annoying it is when I type Matt into my smartphone & I have to scroll past 11 Matt's to find the Matt I wanna call? It is to the point now where I have to call all the Matts by their last names... which meant I had to learn how to pronounce them all. That's not cool, you guys. You do your part to limit the number of Matts and Johns in the world and I'll do my part to limit the number of rappers whose stage name starts with "Young" and "Lil."
  • Stop keeping the temperature at movie theaters so cold. My friend Matt and I (blonde Matt, not brunette Matt) often have arguments in the studio about the air conditioning. He explained to me that White people like coooler temperatures, and said "Why the hell do you think movie theaters are always so cold?" During Black History Month, am I supposed to accept that movie theaters across the entire country are set to the temperature preferences of White people? I demand justice. When we go to the movies together during Black History Month, my White friends should demand that the thermostat at the theater be turned up at least ten degrees. February is the shortest month of the year, you can learn to deal for 29 days.
  • Go to Hot Yoga class with me. None of my black friends will go. They don't want to sweat out their hair.
  • Quit touching my hair.bhm2 Stop it. For Black girls, having natural hair is kind of a big deal. I usually don't care when friends touch my hair, but when it gets to the point where you are trying to make a lasso with my dreads, seeing if you can tie them in a bow, trying to count how many dreads I have, etc. it sort of makes me want to beat you. For the month of February, avoid touching my hair.
  • Explain to me why you don't think beer pong is gross. Everybody's touching the same ping pong ball & throwing it across a table and into a cup of room temperature beer and everybody who's playing is drinking from the same cups... every time my boy Bill has a party at his place they play Beer Pong, and each time I am fascinated at how nobody in the room seems to think it's gross except me. Can't you catch cooties of the mouth that way?
  • Fight my petty battles for me. As Black Americans, we often have to deal with people making cruel, insensitive remarks. Sometimes it is because the person is a bigot, but most of the time it's because the person is dumber than a doorknob.  This month, instead of me having to put these idiots in their place, my white friends should do it for me. That way I'll get a mental vacation from stupidity like this:

bhm1

  • Explain to me why Conan O'Brien wears his hair like that. I absolutely, unnnndeniably love Conan. I just don't understand.
  • Avoid asking me what the slang in rap songs means. Yeah, I'm a rapper, but that doesn't make me Rapperpedia or anything. I DON'T KNOW what "Choppa N Da Paint" means, what the hell are you doing listening to Young Jeezy anyway?

If you are a White person who wants to make the world a better place, then please, do not hesitate to do these ten things for your own Black friends. If you REALLY want to go all out in support of Black History Month, then for the rest of the month you can also stop glorifying bacon, ask your black friend what they wanna listen to in the car instead of immediately turning to the hip hop station, avoid using the word "ghetto" as an adjective unless you've actually lived and/or worked in a ghetto, and last but not least, avoid using the word "ninja" to replace the n-bomb (that's corny as hell, you should cut that out all together.)  And if you are thinking "Nikki, you're asking a bit too much and we can't do that," instead of saying "No, we can't" just hold your head high and say...

Feel free to leave a comment below or on my Facebook page. Happy Black History Month!

Comments

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  • ha ha you're crazy Nikki.

  • Forget Matt's brother John, gwill will bring that eloping swag for days.

  • And your quid pro quo?

    Feel free to return favors on any month, as there is no official Blanco folks month.

  • In reply to Richard Davis:

    I can kind of agree with this, but only half of me. The other half gets the joy of Asian American month in May, which also happens to be the month I was born :-) So, Nikki can you cook me some flame Chinese food, do my laundry, or a mani/pedi for May? LOL I KID!!!! :-) Love ya!!! (I am so getting in trouble for this one!!)

  • In reply to Brandi Wall:

    I can do BOTH of those things. POW! Well...I can do nail art. U'd have to go to somebody more skilled for the mani/pedi :o)

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    In reply to Richard Davis:

    So you have 12 months out of the year in which you benefit from unearned privilege at the expense of others, and you still want more? Still resent when anyone other than the group you identify with has a bit of positive press? Jeesuz. Let's be real - every month is White Folks Month. Until real equality comes about in this country, its going to continue to be that way.

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    Let's be real, there is no such thing as a 'white' anything, quit spouting mindless drivel with no facts whatsoever.

    Minorities actually have more rights and privileges than whites, you don't want real equality, that is what you are fighting against.

  • In reply to Ryan Jonny:

    Check the European track-record.. not much has been too "equal." America is ran by them because they came and took it. but that's just mindless drivel right? forced Natives into camps and "reservations" with infertile land.. no food, and then (on written document), later said ok we will pay u guys the money back and to this day, they have only paid a small fraction back with these damn casinos lol. its actually in history books how much money they owe but will never pay lol its absolutely ignored. but oh well right? because they are treated sooooooooooo unfair and who enslaved jews? europeans. oh and africans? europeans.. oh and when they STOLE america, they had Natives build most of the missions,then sent them off to live in harsh conditions. BUT, a month to finally acknowledge other races is soooo horrible right? oh.. and im part european, but facts are facts. so in your words.. please "Let's be real."

  • exactly. thank you for spreading real knowledge.

  • In reply to Richard Davis:

    lol i think the "blanco folks month" would be whenever the Europeans celebrated them coming and stealing everything and tricking the Natives.. what was that.. like, .. November?

  • Nikki Rocks. I love when you post. Keep it going.

  • In reply to Garrard McClendon:

    awww! thanx Gerard :o)

  • Got to sit across from you at one of the CN blogger meetings in the dark recesses of the Trib Tower. Loved listening to you talk and you write like you talk, no small feat. You need to do it more often.

    I don't get the whole black/white treat us equal thing anymore because I've had black friends all my life and have never done anything but. I just don't think about it. When my stupid white friends act stupid about race, I go hang out with my black friends so we can rant on how stupid white people are.

    As for the whole interracial dating thing, some 30 odd years ago I dated a black woman I thought was HOT. We got along great, I'd come hang out at her house on south Yates, her parents loved me. She broke it off. Her neighborhood friends kept giving her a hard time about "that white guy" hanging around and she couldn't handle it anymore. You got to give us a chance. And then, I don't know how to put this politely, we'd ask black women out more, but, ummmm, we're afraid we, ummmm, might not measure up to their expectations.....if you catch my drift. A joke, but not a joke.

    And you're post on gluten, thank you. I think you solved a problem for me. It was the phlegm thing. Damn, I got to give up bread? Not fair.

  • In reply to Ken G:

    Thanx for commenting Ken!!!! I had to take a break from blogging for a while, but I plan to dedicate 2 days a week to it now. I actually really enjoy blogging, its therapeutic ;o) And thank you for the compliment, u flatterer!
    Sorry to hear about your negative experience with interracial dating. If she lived in a predominantly black area 30 YEARS AGO then I can imagine that being really hard. There are still some inequalities and unfairness that Black people face, but it's getting wayyy better. I choose to have an optimistic view on the matter.

    And I am so glad the gluten-free blog helped! Have u started trying any of the other gluten free products that grocery stores are carrying? Whole Foods has tons of items but u can also find really good gluten free stuff in Jewel & Dominicks now!

  • In reply to Nikki Lynette:

    I'd call it more dissappointing than negative, at least we stayed friends. She was a sweetheart. Things WERE different 30 years ago.

    Cool thing happening, I think. My daughters and their friends give absolutely no thought to these issues. Everyone they hang out with, regardless of race, ethnicity, you name it, are judge by either being a good person, or not. That's it. I did something right with them.....

    As for the food, just getting started in the research. Looking at all that stuff I've craved, knowing I have to find something else, sigh. I also have a feeling it explains why I can't lose that 10-15 pounds, ever. That alone will be worth it. Thanks again and keep it up. I like laughing at the same time someone is driving home a serious point. You got that nailed.

  • In reply to Ken G:

    Now to address your dating concern...according to Millie Jackson, black men aren't bigger-it's just that black women are smaller.

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    In reply to Ken G:

    so you made fun of white people for having racial issues and encouraged black racism, and then you are upset when blacks then are racist to you as well when you have betrayed your own people and think that is good enough.

    and then you assert your belief that black men are bigger, despite the myth being totally untrue and having been originally created by racist whites of old it is now perpetuated by self hating whites and racist blacks.

  • *is giving you a standing ovation*

    and a BIG ^5 on #1. when white people like richard look at me blankly when the subject of racism (and why there should be a black history month) comes up, i simply tell them that i've been passed up by more cabs than they have caught in their lifetime. i can honestly say this without exaggeration, and unfortunately i'm not trying to be funny. and i'm not talking about full cabs, i'm talking empty slow down and even pull over to the curb and dart off because they mistook me being light-skinned for being white until they got close enough to tell the difference passed up. that's why i cut off and otherwise terrorize cab drivers whenever i get the chance :)

  • In reply to misterchi:

    Wowwwww....does that really happen? How about this: It was snowing badly in chicago. I tried for a hour to get a cab. When I finally got one as soon as I hoppe in the driver told me to get out because he was going home, the roads are too dangerous. I asked if hecould just take me part of the way. He said no. I hopped out. A white man in a suit came as soon as I hopped out. The cab driver spoke with him for a moment then let him in the cab. I yelled "Are u kidding me?" The white dude in the suit told me to come get in the cab with him & offered to pay my way. The driver dropped him off & he was able to talk the driver into taking me part of the way home. I had to figure out how to get home in a blizzard. he had me dropped me off 2 blocks away from a main street and I ran the 2 blocks, still not knowing how i would get back. i saw a bus & it happened to be a route that goes right near my home, so i caught up with it & rode it home. i took that same bus once and that ride took me 15min in normal weather. in the snow storm it took an hour. when i got off i ran the 3 blocks to my place. i was freezing y tits off when i got home so i turned the heat as high as it would go & laid under the covers til i thawed out. so yeah...i hate cabs.

  • In reply to Nikki Lynette:

    next time, do what i've done many times: stop a white person (females work best), and ask them to hail the cab while you stand a short distance away. i usually get laughs from the person at first, then that sad, "are you serious look" when i explain the situation, but people are generally helpful (the ones not driving cabs). nothing was more priceless than the look on the cabdriver's face as i leapt into the cab with a white woman holding the door for me. once you're in, by law they have to take you.

    and nikki...the worst offenders are our african cousins...

  • In reply to misterchi:

    just in case none of you have noticed, most cab drivers are not white. so maybe these problems you experience are not about racism at all. Hmmm, what could it be. But it just easier to blame everything on racism.

  • In reply to BigWay:

    I'm going to assume from your lack of knowledge on the subject that you're not Black, because as you can see from this post other people have witnessed this issue if not experienced it for themselves. If you have never been discriminated against because of your ethnicity then congrats, but that doesn;t make the plight of others nonexistent just because you don;t relate. That's a really arrogant way of thinking.

  • Great article and I agree beer pong is totally gross.

    I wished my black co-workers Happy Black History Month and exchanged fist bumps, it actually went over way better than I thought it would and they doubled-over laughing. Then today I walked by and said "Say it loud!" and they knew to reply with, "I'm black and I'm proud!". It was so awesome.

  • In reply to TRSlyder:

    That is sooooooooo funny! U're bold. Sounds like u have some hella cool co-workers, seems like it would be a fun place to work.

  • Whoopi Goldberg and Sherri Shepherd just read your items from your blog on the view. Awesome.

  • Keep blogging Nikki. Even if it's just to say hello everyday to your readers. The frequency and relevance makes you an opinion shaper.

  • In reply to Garrard McClendon:

    U are right Garrard, I am gonna keep it up.

  • Wow - Whoopi just read out your list on The View! Go Nikki!

  • YOU MADE "The View" with this blog! Congrats! Love it!

  • Hilarious!!

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    Love this list! Used to play Beer Pong and had fun with it, BUT that shit is nasty as fuck and no one cares! "The alchohol kills the germs" my ass! Even worse after it rolls on the floor in some dirty basement (Frat brothers forever Jason! )

  • Sorry Nikki, but as a fellow blogger and a white girl, I cannot and will not stop glorifying Bacon. I am a foodie and I LOVE bacon :-P LOL

    This list however is funny and glad you made it "on" The View today :-)

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    Wow I read through all of them after watching "the view". Very funny, these are great and thought provoking! One thing I never knew was the need of people wanting to touch your hair. It has never occurred to me to want to touch my friends hair. Will this imbue me with special powers or good luck like rubbing a Buddha. All my friends are in trouble now! Maybe I should try everyone's hair too blonde vs redhead or my Indian relatives vs. the Norwegians ones????

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    ROFL! I was thinking some of that and never said it. A co-worker asked to touch my hair because I to am a natural woman and that really hit home... Now as a woman I have the right to change my mind so don't judge me when you see my facebook photo... I was lacefront happy and I was having a bad hair day (lol). Love the blogg ;)

  • In reply to Demetrica Johnson:

    Lmfao at "Lacefront happy!" No judgement here darling :o)

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    Please don't take offense, but I want to explain to you why cab drivers tend to avoid picking up black people.
    It is NOT because they fear you (obviously, in your case), or because they are afraid of getting robbed, etc.
    It is because of one reason and one reason only (with a very few exception)
    The REASON:
    are you ready?
    are you sitting down?
    okay
    here it comes
    the #1 Reason why cab drivers avoid picking up black people is:
    BLACK PEOPLE DO NOT TIP!!!
    Yes, yes, yes, I am sure that YOU tip.
    And there are exceptions.
    BUT!
    9 out of 10 Black people DO NOT TIP!
    Now let me tell you a little story to further prove my point.
    Years ago on Roosevelt Ave in Hillside, there used to be a Red Lobster Restaurant.
    It did a booming business especially from the upscale black neighborhood next door (Belwood, IL)
    But, guess what?
    It had to close!
    The reason?
    are you ready?
    are you sitting down?
    here it comes:
    The REASON the Red Lobster restaurant had to close is because the COULDN'T get anyone to work there!!!
    Why couldn't they get anyone to work there??
    are you sitting down?
    The reason they couldn't get anyone to work there is because most of the clientele were Black Folks from Bellwood AND THEY DIDN'T TIP!!!
    So the waitresses and waiters couldn't make any money so they quit!
    Now, does letting you in on this information make me a racist for pointing this out?
    Whether it does or not does not change the facts!
    Black people are notorious NON-Tippers!
    Have a wonderful day!

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    In reply to Chase Monstaire:

    That must be a regional issue, because where I am from tipping is not an issue of race, it is an issue of social and economic strata.

  • In reply to Chase Monstaire:

    First of all, thanx for posting. Second, I don't know any black people who don't tip. I'm just being honest. I think that might be specific to the area in which you live, because everybody knows you have to leave a tip, black people didn't miss the memo. I'd heard before that this was a popular stereotype but I didn't think anyone would actually believe it or try to seek out evidence of it being true.

  • In reply to Nikki Lynette:

    As a former Chicagoan who now lives and works in Las Vegas, I can tell you without qualification, that the worst weekend in the history of the city by unanimous consent among the workers in the service industry was the NBA AllStar game a couple of years ago.

    There isn't anyone who works in the industry that would ever want that event to come back to town, even the strippers, and it probably will never be allowed to return by city officials and the powers that be.

    For the vast majority of people in this country today, discrimination it isn't about the color of a persons skin, it is however 100% about how one behaves.

    The vast majority of people of all races are easily able to discriminate(i.e. tell the difference between) good behavior and bad.

    While I am assuming that you wrote this blog post to be funny, no white person could have written anything like this without being crucified, regardless of which side of the stereotypes they chose to write from.

    You are more or less trivializing the true meaning of Black History Month.

    True equality means that the standards for behavior and speech are the same for all races with no exceptions, including the use of certain words and code words.

    Racism will not truly be history, until everyone stops seeing themselves a minority of one kind or another and these same people stop viewing all their life experiences through race colored glasses.

    Your posts from last year and this, do nothing to further the end of racism, if anything they perpetuate it.

  • In reply to BigWay:

    Your posts from last year and this, do nothing to further the end of racism, if anything they perpetuate it.

    Really, what do you think of Jimmy Fallon, Jon Stewart, Dave Chapelle, and Eddie Murphy as well many other comedians???

    Might I add, one thing white people can do for me is stop telling me I'm not a racist I have Black friends?

    Nikki, you go girl.

  • In reply to Chase Monstaire:

    having worked in the hospitality business for years, you're pretty much wrong to assume/generalize that certain people do/don't tip. funny thing about your generalization is that i've seen it backfire so many times because it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. people see a black guest, assume no tip, serve accordingly, then get what they deserve as a tip and attribute it to them being black. tipping/gratuity is at the guest's discretion, and in the city of chicago it is ILLEGAL for a cabdriver to deny service to anyone based on race, ethnicity, sex or any other reason. i've even had a cab driver physically try to remove me from his cab once i told him where i was going (bronzeville).

    i hope you are a cabdriver/waiter/bartender so that i can seek you out and not tip you.

    thank you and have a wonderful day! :)

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    In reply to Chase Monstaire:

    This is actually very true here in South Florida, not one person I know or have met in the service industry likes serving black people (or europeans), because they simply don't tip. And the rare chance they do it's either leave the coin change on the table or, the female picks the tip back up as she walks out. Tipping is usually the main reason. People in the service industry will put up with almost everything and anything.....provided they're tipped well.

  • In reply to Chris:

    Maybe it is just a Florida thing? I dunno. What I have been told by cabbies in Chicago AND New York that they don't like picking up Black customers because they don't want to have to drive to far areas where Black people live because it is typically far away from downtown & they don't want to drive to an area where they can't make money and blah blah blah blah. I tip.

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    I love this. And I've done the cab thing for friends, which is very sad.

  • I can only answer to the movie theatres: They were historically among the first public spaces to get air conditioning, back when it still involved freezing a block of ice overnight and blowing fans over it into the ventilation. Look at photos of or ads for theatres from the 30s through 50s and many will them proclaim that they're "20 degrees cooler inside!" Why this persists today, this Cauc doesn't know. I don't like my fingers freezing off while trying to eat popcorn either. Warm up the place and put more ice in your soda, folks!

  • In reply to Mark McDermott:

    That's interesting, I never knew that theaters were amongst the first venues to use air conditioning. I'm glad you agree with me about the unnaturally cold climate in theaters too...I literally have to dress warmly when I an going to the movies. I recently went to see Red Tails and I swear I was freezing my butt off through the entire film because I forgot to bundle up!

  • In reply to Mark McDermott:

    The cool vs hot thing clearly has nothing to do with race, it is simply a male vs female thing. Women generally like the room, any room much warmer than men do. The first thing that I ask to do when I visit my mom or any of my married friends or relatives is ask if I can open some windows, or if its summer close the windows and turn on the air. To make it a race issue seems incredibly silly.

  • Cool Blog! Just wanted to say that I agree with you on the beer pong. We used to play in my friend's kitchen. He owned a cat and even though we would dunk the ball water in between shot, we'd have cat hair among other things floating around in our beer. So, we started filling the cups with water. This enabled us to each have our own beers which remained untouched by floor debris and the lips of other's. The only set backs are you must have a place to put the cups that get knocked out because you can't neatly stack them when they remain filled with water, and you are basically on the honor system that folks are drinking as much as they are supposed to when the opposing team sinks a shot. The end results were still the same. We all got drunk, loud and had fun.

  • Nikki,
    Your sense of humor on the subject of cultural differences is refreshing.

    It is a start toward the "black community" admitting that urban black culture has some very serious problems and is at the heart of many of the problems and "disadvantages" faced by many blacks in America. The sooner we all deal with reality, the sooner we can start to really address the problems and make life better.
    George

  • In reply to GGagner:

    Thanx for commenting! I actually love writing about stuff like this, mainly because we live in a time where our racial differences are no longer things that keep us apart. They used to be things that weirded people out about other ethnic groups but now it's just the stuff that we make fun of each other about. I like it that I live in an era where I rarely notice if I am the only black girl in the room or not. And it is true that I am an entertainer so my experiences are different from a lot of people's because the filed I am in is very diverse. But from what I can see, things are getting better throughout this country. It makes me happy.

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    "...stop glorifying bacon..."
    I was with you right up til there. How DARE you impugn my religion! BACON IS AWESOME! There, I said it! HAHAHAHA...

  • In reply to Albatross:

    Haaahahahahahahhahaaa! I'm backing down, you win. There will be no more bacon persecution from me :o)

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    I thought this blog was hilarious, keep the conversation going! Luv it. I joke with my sister about going to Hot Yoga. She loves it, but I think it maybe due to her having locks...

    #ImaFan
    Peace

  • In reply to Tim Dilly:

    Thanx Tim! I absolutely love hot yoga, and I swear to you, the only friends of mine who go are my non-black and bi-racial friends. My black friends refuse to ruin their hair. It cracks me up & pisses me off at the same time.

  • You made my day Nikki! You and many of the folks who responded have given me hope that one day race won't be such a "hot button" issue.

  • In reply to Lilbody:

    That is such a great point! I was thinking the same thing, I haven't gotten one ignorant comment on this post yet. (I just knocked on wood, don't wanna break the lucky streak!) I think things are getting better rapidly.

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    I would love to write a blog called, " 10 things my black friends can do for me!!" Wait... Then I'd be called a
    Racist! Unreal! This article is offensive!

  • In reply to Nennie:

    Pardon me for assuming everyone was versed in the nuances of literature. Allow me to make this blog more clear for you:

    Satire- [sat-ahyuhr] noun
    1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
    2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
    3. a literary genre comprising such compositions. (via Dictionary.com)

    Also, you can learn more here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satire
    Knowledge is power!

  • Love your list, and you're awesome!!!!

  • And I may or may not be guilty of wanting to touch my black friends' hair. I love how it feels!!!!!!! But I will stop this month.

  • In reply to Chicago Quirk:

    For me it's acceptable until it gets to the point where it feels like they're having their way with my hair....then its like "What the hell!?!" LoL. Glad u like the blog, thanx for commenting!

  • In reply to Nikki Lynette:

    don't feel bad quirk...i have locs and i have white and black women (and one man...ugh) ask to touch my hair...and yes nikki...i have ocassionally felt the need for a shower (or a cigarette) after they're done...

  • In reply to Nikki Lynette:

    Okay, Nik. I thought I was all over the wanting to touch the hair thing, having had a black girlfriend some while ago. But my wife and I just watched and greatly enjoyed the "Soul Train" marathon on WCIU, and all those big round dos just got me curious again. Tried to get the kids interested in it, but they were grumpy because we had this on instead of "Stooge-a-palooza."
    I'm certain "Soul Train" was on when I was a kid in the Sioux City, IA market, cause so much of it was deep in my memory. But that room was just to hip for me back then.

  • In reply to Mark McDermott:

    I'm not gonna lie....if I meet somebody with a big round afro I'm gonna want to touch it, too! LoL :o)
    Stooge-a-polooza? Smh. I say u did them a favor!

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    AWESOME!

  • Hook you up with a hot white dude? Whatever the temperature is, a black man could never publicly ask to be hooked up with a white woman. Nor are we allowed to speak on it without the risk of being lynched by either white men or black women.

    While I really couldn't care less about interracial dating or relationships, I would just ask that you keep it to yourself. There's no need to make a public declaration. I am kinda tired of black women begging up on non-black men by way of public declaration (magazine articles, blogs, tv shows). We are not all that equal or that free.

  • In reply to B K Ray:

    Begging up? Wowwww. You should really keep those antiquated views to yourself sir. We don't have to "beg up" guys outside of our race. Its 2012. Non-black guys just ask black girls out now. And your whole "Don't ask, don't tell" policy as it relates to interracial dating is laughable, I'm not even dignifying that foolishness with a response. I don't know about you, but I AM that equal. I AM that free.

  • In reply to Nikki Lynette:

    Yes, it is antiquated, why just last month a young black male in the liberal bastion of Beverly, wound up getting a noose put around his neck for having the audacity to think about dating a white girl. Just because it was her cousin that led that particular effort, I am led to believe that it wasn't racial at all.

    'Don't ask, don't tell', now that is funny. The idea of you associating the socio-racial ideology that attacks black men for having anything to do with white women, with a failed policy on homosexuals in the military is kinda ironic in that so many black people still fail to see the civil rights value in gay marriage. Just saying' is all.

    If you think yourself that free, that equal, then it is because you lack empathy, or the kind of foresight one gets from having empathy. At the individual level, people will do what they will do. I ain't mad, but at the trumpet, it is indeed a different story. Perhaps it is only with age (or antiquation) that someone realizes that the ability to do something is not the best reason to do it. Discretion is the better part of all things.

    And to twist the blade, if you will, to say that you will not 'dignify' anything with a response, is to admit you simply do not know what to say. It may be over your head, out of your reach, or beyond your capacity. I understand it is hard to make such admissions when you know everything, but that's ok. I don't know nothing.

  • In reply to B K Ray:

    I guess what I don't understand is why an older person like yourself would accuse me of lacking empathy due to me owning the fact that I am, by every definition of the word, free. Didn't the generations before mine fight for these freedoms I enjoy? Isn't this what you wanted, for us to actually have freedom of speech and choice? Didn't your generation strive to get me the rights to the proper education that you are accusing me of not having simply because I don't want to engage you in a meaningless debate based on your LIMITED perspective and personal opinions?

    Let me tell you something Mr. Ray, if I am NOT free and and I DO lack the capacity to communicate effectively and I AM NOT equal, then there is nothing valuable that you can say to me, because you are basically telling me that your generation failed me. And if you truly feel that way then there is nothing I can learn from your failure except to avoid it. Take care.

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    In reply to Nikki Lynette:

    LOVE THIS BLOG NIKKI!

    Don't let MR RAY get your goat. I am a natural-haired sista raised in the late 60s-70s. Also happen to be a doctor whose practice is 98% caucasian. My patients, many of whom are good friends(I see many of them more often than family) are always wanting to 'touch my hair'! Curious I guess...anyway I have been free/equal since birth. Something promoted by my parents and the CHATHAM neighborhood I grew up in. I have met/dated the MR RAYS of the world...they always will have an excuse for being/feeling less than...that's their issue, not yours/mine/or the larger Black communitys'!!

    Keep up the good work!

    mbl

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    In reply to B K Ray:

    white men are killed or at least seriously injured all the time for dating and/or marrying black women, much more often than black men getting attacked for dating and/or marrying white women.

  • In reply to Ryan Jonny:

    When? Where can I find info about that?

  • In reply to B K Ray:

    "Nor are we allowed to speak on it without the risk of being lynched by either white men or black women."

    Really? Black men are being lynched by white men and black women across the country for merely speaking about hooking up with a white woman?

    I can't tell if you were going with humor on this one, but come on. You could have come up with something else (either clever/humorous) to make your point.

  • what more can I say, just love this....

  • I'm with you on everything but the yoga. Quit stereotyping us white people! How about I replace that one with promising to watch Undercover Brother this month? My husband told me he could only love people who love that movie.

    Oh wait, did I just name drop that my husband is black? Why yes, I just pulled the ultimate white move - proving I'm not racist by marrying a black guy! Oh fine, there might have been some other reasons...

  • In reply to Teresa:

    Technically I'm not stereotyping White people, I'm stereotyping Black people by saying none of them are willing to join me at hot yoga because they don't wanna mess up their hair :o)

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    Go Nikki!! Hilarious!Esp taxi one! ;)) and yayy to interracial dating!! :)))) xoxo

  • Who ARE you? I feel like I've been missing out on something. You're one more reason Chicago is the best place on earth. The Matt and John thing, though. I'm white and I don't know any Matts and only one Jon...my step-son. What am I doing wrong? Oddly enough, I know five Bretts. Proof Arizona isn't normal.

  • Bacon is a gift from God, unless you're Jewish or Muslim, I guess. Then, I feel so sorry for you.

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    I saw this headline in the Tribune and thought "This will either be obnoxious and offensive or I'll love this post" and am happy to say I loved it. I have to say, though, you missed the mark about bacon. Even my black friends glorify bacon.

    Now I have another blog to read. thanks!

  • In reply to Christophe:

    Haaahahhahahahahhahhahaah! My black friends love bacon, too....I was just trying to throw one in there for us vegans, too. Gotta capitalize, ya know? Thanx for commenting Chris :o)

  • I'm going to celebrate BHM in the traditional fashion. I'm going to stick up a convenience store and then buy some crack.

  • In reply to chazaroo68:

    Sounds like your mom raised you pretty poorly. Does she use drugs as well?

  • I like your blog, but I'm sorry that Sheri Shephard is involved in any way. I am convinced that she is the most stupid person on the planet and any mention of her name makes me throw up a little bit. Now, it's time for me to nom nom nom on bacon.

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    Based on last year's "Things not to do" post, I'm going to call you out on #2 being just a ploy to get free drinks.

  • In reply to Jordan:

    D'oh! You've discovered my master plan! (Don't tell anyone) :o)

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    Listen, you mondo-trasho-narcissistic clown...

    what black people should do is stop asking for favors and freebies from other people.
    But I will give you some free advice. You want real respect from real people? Stop dressing, talking, and acting like a third-rate celebrity trashy you are. Your ilk is dime a dozen on the internet.

  • Let me help you out a bit, you seem like you're in need of special attention.
    Saying "mondo-trasho-narcissistic clown" is incorrect. If you are referencing the title of the film from the 60's then you would not use a dash because the film title did not contain one. Also, you used a dash when you should have used a comma before narcissistic. So if you wanted to use this insult effectively, it would be written in the following manner:
    "People who troll the internet looking for blogs to leave ignorant messages on are Mondo Trasho, narcissistic clowns. LoL."

    ALSO, the statement "Stop dressing, talking, and acting like a third-rate celebrity trashy you are" is a classic example of poor grammar. I am not sure if that was supposed to be two sentences or not, the subject is not clearly defined and you are definitely missing some punctuation.

    I have decided, after some consideration, that I can not take advice from you. If you are incapable of communicating without making errors that we were taught to avoid in 5th grade then I am afraid you are in no position to advise me.

    Happy Black History Month!

  • a day would be sufficient instead of a month...........

  • In reply to rodster8449:

    If that were true then it would only be a day long...instead of a month.

  • Hey, here's a thought...how about during white history month (pick one, like maybe, oh, I don't know, July for Independence Day) you say "thank you" to any of your white friends for helping end slavery, and perhaps acknowledge that slavery was an evil SOUTHERN economic practice, primarily in a small (relative to the size of the country at the time) but thriving section of the south. And while you're at it, remember that slavery was fought against mightily by MANY white people as an evil institution, and only through a desperate need to keep the country together as a union did we acquiesce to the south's demands until such time as we could end it with the blood of 600,000 men (mostly white)....I think what you mean to say is "Thank you". You're welcome.

  • In reply to therealquestion:

    This comment makes me think that you didn't read this blog. I just skimmed through it again and I literally have no idea what inspired you to make this comment. But just in case you did read it and were grossly confused, I hope this clears things up for you.

    Satire- [sat-ahyuhr] noun
    1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
    2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
    3. a literary genre comprising such compositions. (via Dictionary.com)

    Also, you can learn more here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satire
    And I am not sure if any of YOUR ancestors ever fought for Civil Rights, but mine definitely were slaves. If any of your ancestors owned slaves who worked for free, then I think what you mean to say is "Thank you". You're welcome.

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    In reply to therealquestion:

    Some people suck the fun out of everything! This is satire.

    I am 100% down for #1! The cab drivers must know us melanin enriched folks can't tolerate cold and love to see us suffer. Cause they stop during the warmer months. Think about it.....*cues conspiracy music*

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    Your friends are not a different ethnicity than you. They are a different species, as you are not a human, however they surrendered their humanity and betrayed their race by associating with you and are now classified as the same filthy and vile species as you.

    Black Fantasy Munff is a joke !!! Your species has no history as to have a history you have to have had evolved. Your ilk is still starving in your muddaland eating mud cookies, digging for grubs to eat with sticks, live in mud huts and take cow piss showers. Every "accomplishment" claimed by your kind from "inventing" peanut butter to building the pyramids is nothing but pure fantasy in your inferior minds.

    The "accomplishments" you groids can lay claim to as 13% of the US population is:

    73% of STDs and AIDS cases

    67% of prison inmates

    82% of EBT, WIC, Section 8 and welfare recipients

    59% of unwed breeders

    You are the typical self-entitled, vile and filthy shegroid that expects everyone to do everything for her. You serve no purpose whatsoever and your species is nothing but parasites expecting humans to give everything to you. You need to study true history and earn your place.

  • In reply to ShayNay NayNot:

    HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAA!

    You're uneducated.

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    In reply to Nikki Lynette:

    If that's your answer then you sound like the "uneducated" one!

  • In reply to Mydixie Wrecked:

    So your logic is I'm uneducated because I refuse to engage an illogical and grossly racist troll on my blog? What you are saying is you consider dignifying foolishness to be a sign of intelligence? I hope if you have kids you don't teach them to adopt your perception of intelligence, if you do you'll be setting them up for a pretty crappy life. You can go reply to the crazy people if you wanna. Maybe you have lots of free time because you have nothing else going on but that's not the case for me.

  • In reply to ShayNay NayNot:

    Gosh it doesn't take a lot to make you feel better. Wonder what you'll do when China calls in America's debt to them and they start making us really be their b*tch. LOL

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    Nothing makes me laugh more then ignorant people, leaving even more ignorant comments! I Loved The Blog!!! If you didn't understand the humor... stinks to be you.

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    I already do these things for my black wife:-) Also, stay consist in your self description, you use the term African-American yet then later in your diatribe you refer to yourself as a black American. It's time to end the PC term African-American, Asian-American etc. If you are a citizen of this country you are AN AMERICAN. My wife is black and from San Antonio, Texas, not Africa. My father is from Lithuania and became a citizen, we don't run around calling ourselves Lithuanian-Americans. As for what your white friends should do for you this month, you and your friends should do things similar to these every month.

  • I saw the title, and thought I was gonna hate this article.
    I'm so glad I read it. Not only did I get to read a brilliantly funny article, but I've been introduced to another wonderful writer that I wouldnt have known existed otherwise. I look forward to skimming though your previous pieces, and to anticipating your future ones.
    I can't imagine there is ANY situation you can't diffuse (or escalate!) with that rapier-sharp wit.
    Thank you for painting over a small corner of my world with your beautiful, bold colors.

  • How do I report this? I am white and I feel discriminated.

    Also, if this was done the other way around there would be a massive storm of negative comments.

  • You realize that photo at the top should say "Whose," not "Who's"...right?

  • In reply to Michael Cassio:

    Yeah, but the dude who made it did it for free so I opted not to look a gift horse in the mouth :o) He made another one though

  • Yea, this is really racist.

    Created an account specifically to say...this is racist. Its not good writing, its not interesting...its racist.

    This unoriginal, thoughtless, poorly put together piece does a really tasteless job of celebrating black history month - by making me glad I'm not one of her "white friends." (Who is not named Matt, or Jon. Names are cultural - much the same as you'd find in your own, different culture.)

    Can't believe its linked from chicagotribune.com. Really, real newspapers?

  • In reply to pomdecouer:

    rac·ist  [rey-sist] noun
    1. a person who believes in racism, the doctrine that a certain human race is superior to any or all others.

    Explain to me how that applies to my blog Caitlin. I'm waiting. It will be an entertaining read.

  • Nobody is going to be able to help you out with number 2. Nobody wants to date black women, not even black men.

  • In reply to shitavious:

    If the first half of your statement was true then my mom wouldn't be bi-racial. If the second half were true then my dad wouldn't have been born at all. LoL. I think what you meant to say is nobody wants to date YOU, in which case I would recommend you try eHarmony. If they are too selective and won;t allow you to join because you don;t meet their criteria, then try PlentyOfFish.com, I hear sites like those are very helpful for people in your situation. Good luck!

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    I totally think Beer Pong is gross. As for movie theatres, I'm always cold too, however I think they are really kept colder because the building manager is trying to save a little money.

  • fb_avatar

    Great Article!! Loved reading it!! And you are so right Beer Pong is gross!!

  • Nikki, I understand that you want to have a helping hand, which is great...but how can you go as far to segregate between WHO should help you out? And which month do you help your white friends more than they help you? I love what Morgan Freeman's view is : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GeixtYS-P3s

  • In reply to Kevin Massimilian:

    Seriously? So what you REALLY thought is "This blog is serious. There is no humor here, these are real expectations and views and I am offended by them." Like...really? I thought everybody learned about satire in school. Isn't literature class mandatory? Wow. I'm consistently amazed. I guess my school did a better job of educating me than I thought.

    Satire- [sat-ahyuhr] noun
    1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
    2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
    3. a literary genre comprising such compositions. (via Dictionary.com)

    Also, you can learn more here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satire

  • In reply to Nikki Lynette:

    Why thank you for the enlightenment, Nikki. I was unsure of the meaning of "satire". Such a strange and foreign word that is to me.... obviously I knew you were being satirical on most of the "issues", but using terms like "white privielege" and showing racist comments is really actually a poor use of rhetoric; it just crossed the line in my mind.

  • It never amazes me some people --- I'll just be honest, whites-- how big a twist their panties/boxers/briefs get when Black History Month comes around and it's mentioned. Think of it as 28 (or 29) days of getting a break from constant complaining about what we AREN"T and what many of us are so-called doing wrong.

    Here's my two cents about whites and all others who are having fits over the designation.

    First, Remember that it's a RECOGNITION. Not a national holiday, like Black Folks Day, err I mean MLK Day. You can ignore Black History Month, but you can't ignore MLK Day. Blacks across the country are just reminding themselves, that at many points of time they did something other than what the media reports on. We worked jobs, strived for their dreams, made a better path for generations behind us and paid our taxes all the while being harassed for being black.

    Second, there are quite a few whites who have made "Black History". Yes, they worked with the anti-slavery movement or joined in the civil rights protests not because they bored out of their minds but because they realized that the founders of the nation, while some slave owners, made a really good document called the Constitution that has some gosh, darn good ideas. And those ideas should be extended to everyone.

    Third. If you want a White History Month, go ahead. In fact, I'll be the biggest supporter of it. Because when you go to do the digging and writing to understand why, when , where and how that person or persons was/were able to make history, you'll discover that at some point in the background or foreground that there was a black person there working somehow, in someway a supportive fashion.

    Bottom line is, many of us LOVE our country.
    Congrats Nikki on the national attention. Now you're apart of Black History. =)

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    In reply to namahottie:

    If you took the time to be with a real white person, one who actually looks out for their own self interests, just listening to that person for an hour or so and letting them talk about their experiences with multiculturalism and the forced integration of all European descended societies, I guarantee you wouldn't see things the same way ever again.

  • I know this is suppose to be humorous and it very much was. But the second thing is just disgusting. I am sorry but white men are by far the least attractive men. It makes me gag in disgust to even imagine a white man touching me. How could you even stand the thought of that? Icky!

  • In reply to ZoeyTheZany:

    Personal preference. Thanx for commenting :)

  • As a white woman (mostly, anyway) I just want to say "WHAT IS WRONG WITH THOSE WHITE PEOPLE!!!

    Sorry about the shouting. And yes, I do the cab thing for black people all the time.

  • In reply to Cheryl:

    Thanx for the love Cheryl! Its a appreciated and reciprocated :o)

  • Nikki, I thought this was awesome and hilarious, and I can't believe it was picked up by the View! So cool! I'm also an on-again, off-again CN blogger and I'm glad to see you back and want to encourage you to keep it up!

  • As much as I can see your "problems" is nice how blacks are celebrated, but when it comes to discrimination, blacks are not shy or slow to do it to Hispanics. I would ask you have you ever attended a rally for Hispanics, complained about killing of Hispanics in the border, complained about people not speaking english, you want to be treated nicely and people to fight for you do it for others. You are asking what can people do for me? Have you asked yourself what I can do for others that might be suffering more than I?

  • In reply to iah372:

    NO, I DID NOT ask any of that because this is an article about everybody & their momma, it's a blog about Black History Month. I have too many Hispanic friends to even be able to count, I have never been discriminated against by a Latino and have never seen Blacks discriminate against them either. And YES I 100% do complain about people not speaking English when I order from a restaurant and try to place an order and am barely able to communicate with the person taking my order. That doesn't apply to just Hispanic people, sorry. That's bad for business. Finally, this post is satire, and my blog is about my life and opinions. If you are interested in a blog that deals with Latinos and their issues here are some that you can check out:

    Punto EGF
    http://www.chicagonow.com/punto-egf

    Chicanísima: Latino politics, news and culture
    http://www.chicagonow.com/chicanisima-latino-politics-news-and-culture/

    The White Rhino: A Chicago Latino English Teacher
    http://www.chicagonow.com/white-rhino/

  • lol...over the century mark and still going with the comments! nice! i'll be back after my cab comes...

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    Hello from the UK!

    Very good blog - I've got to admit, I was so typically British and didn't get it at first ( as much as I moan that we're becoming a sensitive nation here in Limeyland, I sometimes catch myself being stereotypical sometimes) but I'm glad I do now.

    I always find blogs such as yours interesting, as sometimes I can relate to some things and others just seem so alien and bizarre because they're so wrong.

    For example I can relate to the hair touching thing - over here, we would consider touching anyone's hair no matter what the ethnicity to be really rude and a punchable offence! However I can relate because I spent a lot of time in the states (California, and the south like Arkansas, Tennessee, Alabama, Mississippi etc) and in all places I wad treated like a curiosity because of my accent and asked to talk by complete and utter strangers of all colours and creeds. Some woman in Arkansas said "Ye talk funny, where 'yo fram" and a guy in Cali kept on doing cockney impersonations to me which Admittedly was annoying as I live about 100 miles away from London! And some Mexican lad in Cali nearly fell to the floor when I spoke to him! Lol.

    The Alien things though are definitely the Taxi/Cab thing. Over here, that taxi driver would likely get fined thousands of pounds and lose his job. In all honesty, Black History Month in itself is a bit alien to us, as we tend to categorise on a particular country or culture such as African, French, German, Muslim, Jewish, Gay etc. Over here, there is such a massive distinction in that Black and African are seen very differently here and you'll Find that there is a lit of bad vibes between the two respective countries.

    Also, an interesting tidbit is that from the 40's-90's, if you were black in Britain then it was known you were treated far better than if you were Irish. If you were Irish here, you were seen as a terrorist and "Scum of the earth" (this has carried on in some form as "stupid Irish" jokes). I'm not Black or Irish as I'm a very pale White Brit so I can't contribute a personal take, but I do have Irish roots and I find it so sad that some of my ancestors were treated like this.

    That way just my two pence as a foreigner. :-D

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    lmao. Whoever told u the movie theatre is cold because white ppl like it is false. Matt and John are usually named after their dad or grandfather maybe. lol Beer Pong is gross but when ur gettin white girl wasted or white boy wasted noone cares but let one of them catch someone not washing their hands and they will talk about u for days. lol. I love Conan. Im not sure why he wears his hair like that but c'mon if he didnt have it, it wouldnt be right. I ask my black friends what slang means all the time. haha. I guess Ill stop.

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    nobody gives a shit what you think white people should do for you on nigger history month you ugly, fat shit-black slut. the fact is, niggers haven't CONTRIBUTED anything to this country that has made it better, so why the fuck should i appreciate a race of ugly, brillo headed, low-IQ niggers when all you pathetic niggers do all the time is bitch and whine about how "bad" it is to be an nigger, descended from loser slaves?

    shut you smelly, nigger trap, you have nothing important to say, and even though you all thnk you have an opinion, your thoughts and black ass nigger feelings are worthless. so fuck off.

  • In reply to Brandon Walters:

    You sound very uneducated, nigger. Your spelling is bad, too, nigger. Do they require education where you come from, or are niggers like you not allowed in schools? I didn;t think you niggers even knew how to use the internet, yet here you are posting comments! Good job! You niggers have come a long way. Anyway, thanx for commenting, nigger :o)

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