An open letter to the guy that I totally have a crush on.

Dear dude who I have a crush on;

I refuse to write your name here because at this point you already know who you are. I'm writing this open letter because it's easier for me. For some reason, I feel less nervous in front of hundreds of people than I do one on one. That's mega weird right? Even if it is, you already know what I'm weird so it's too late to start judging me now. 
I am not really a mushy, sappy, cutesy-cuddly type of girl. I'm the type of girl who wrestles and horse plays with a guy as a sign of affection. So with that being stated, when it comes to talking about my feelings, I'm not the best at it. As you know, I recently recorded a song with Dwele that's all about feelings and emotions, and it seems like he wrote his verse effortlessly. I went through hell trying to talk about my feelings on a track, I just don't enjoy addressing matters of the heart. That experience got me thinking... maybe I need to work on that. So I am writing this open letter to tell you that I am officially head over heels in like with you. There. I said it. Don't make fun of me.

I'm pretty sure you are aware of how I feel about you, but I don't know if I do a great job of expressing it. I joke around a lot and make fun of you most of the time. That's real mature and sexy, right? Yeah... I'm a bit of a dork. I'm sure there are girls around you all the time who flirt with you and say sexy things and are covert about their attraction to you, girls who are super feminine and emo and say all the right things. I'll never be that girl. But I can tell you with the utmost certainty, they might be able to sweet talk you better than me, but they'd never appreciate you like I do. Because we're friends. You're not just a future baby's daddy to me. You're the shit. You're funny and adorable and smart as a whip. Even if we never go further than where we are now, I hope we can be friends forever.

I always told myself I would have nothing to do with a guy who was a part of the entertainment industry. I mean... I know you're not a singer or rapper, but I neverrrr wanted to fall for a creative type. I'm into men who are straight-edge and conservative. They're adorable to me because we're so different. But you and I are pretty different, too. Let's be honest... we're practically polar opposites. However, we have enough similarities to get along, I think. Here are a few reasons why I like the hell out of you (Yes, I'm writing a list of the reasons why I like you. I warned you, I'm a dork.) Here goes:
  • You like cartoons. I'm sorry, but I could never be with a guy who couldn't sit through Sponge Bob or The Simpsons with me. Any guy who can't appreciate cartoons could NEVER appreciate my sense of humor.
  • You are so down to earth. You never brag about your accomplishments or flaunt them to impress me, and you've done some impressive things in your life. That's really cool. You're really good at what you do and you're so passionate about it. Who wouldn't admire that? A damned hater, that's who!
  • You're majorly doable. I really find you super attractive. You have a gorgeous smile. And you're one of those hot guys who doesn't know how hot you are, which is always appealing to me. I'd totally hit that.
  • You're super smart. I'm one of those girls who are actually turned on by a guy's intelligence. That makes me a catch. So yeah. Think about that.
  • You are so supportive of me. The other day I was feeling really down, and I shared with you what I was going through. You're not a recording artist, you can't identify with some of the challenges I face. But you listened and offered words of encouragement in a way that showed you really do care. You'd never just give me the whole "Stop complaining because many people would love to be in your shoes" response that so many people give; that response has inspired me to NOT open up about my feelings when I'm going through hard times. But you don't do that to me. You're just there for me. It means a lot. Yeah. I really like you.
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I kinda wish I could be where you are right now. I'm so busy these days, though. You know why. Still, I'd be so stoked. Is it wack that the first thing I'd wanna do is take a nap together? LoL. And NO, I'm not saying I'd wanna take a nap just so I could get you horizontal and go to work on you (although the thought did cross my mind earlier today.) Honestly, you of all people know that I never get a lot of rest, and you make me feel pretty great, so I just want to cuddle up and take a nap with you. That's not the sexiest thing to say, I know. But I'm being myself. Not every girl is bold enough to just be herself. I hope you'd include that on your list of why you like me.
In closing, this open letter is BY FAR the most girlie, mushy, emo thing that I have ever done in my adult life. I just wanted to tell you that I'm officially into you and I'm really enjoying getting to know you as a friend. I love talking to you on the phone. I like getting excited when I realize I've got a text from you. And if you promise not to rush me or to start acting insecure and trying to be the boss of me or reveal that all along you've secretly been a douchetard... if you don't do any of those things then we're in for a hell of a ride together. 
My life is pretty weird and unpredictable. Sometimes because of my career I miss out on the little things in life that other people my age are experiencing. I love it when I "like" a guy. It might seem like a small thing, but it doesn't happen often, and it makes me feel like I'm not missing out on so much after all. With you, it was "like at first sight." So... you know... don't screw this up. 
I'm gonna hate myself as soon as I publish this blog, I just know it. Sigh.
Sincerely,
Nikki Lynette

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