Help me Josh McCown. You're my only hope.

Josh McCown - the Bears new neckbeard?

McCown?

Josh McCown?

He of the 12-19 career record with a mark of 1-11 on the road? He who was coaching a high school football team about a month ago and hasn't started an NFL game in four seasons? Really? He's the one who's gonna stick his hands up Garza's butt when the Bears line up on Sunday? 

It's hardly the most awe-inspiring bits of news, but I suppose any quarterback not named Caleb Hanie is welcome news at this point in the season with so much on the line. Now, I'm not talking about playoffs. I've given up any delusion that the Bears will sneak in. When I say there's so much on the line, I'm talking about the annual steak dinner bet I make with a Giants fan.

This bet, like most good ones, came to life when I was drunk. It was the 2006 season, the Bears were 5-0, Rexy was looking oh-so-sexy, and I was popping off about how they were destined for greatness. Josh, my good friend and sports nemesis, had nothing but bad things to say about the team so I, in a regrettable show of bravado, threw down the gauntlet. Bears win the Super Bowl and he takes me out for a fancy steakhouse dinner. Any other team wins and I take him out.

He was slow to accept but, in the end, realized you always take the field in a bet of this sort.

We know how that one played out: Hester lit the night on fire then Rex Grossman threw the game away.

When the next season was starting up, Josh playfully offered me the same bet. I declined and offered an alternative that we could carry out every season to come: Bears vs. Giants, whoever has the better record wins the bet. He accepted and began a 3-year run of dominance that I finally broke last season:

  • 2007: Giants go 10-6 while Bears go 7-9
  • 2008: Giants go 12-4 while Bears go 9-7
  • 2009: Giants go 8-8 while Bears go 7-9
  • 2010: Giants go 10-6 while Bears go 11-5

That brings us to this season. The teams are tied with 2 games to go. I can't say with confidence that the Giants will lose their last two games, but I can say I have no confidence in the Bears winning even one. I want to believe. Really, I do. But what have we seen in the last month that could give me hope?

And that's where Josh McCown comes into play. We haven't seen him at all in the last 4 weeks (minus some garbage time last week - I'm going to pretend that didn't happen). Maybe he'll surprise us? He once knocked the Vikings out of the playoffs with a touchdown pass on 4th and 25. Even more impressive, he was the East Texas player of the year his senior year in high school! If that doesn't speak to a winning pedigree, I don't know what does.

Look, I like steak dinners. I just don't like buying them for smug Giant fans who are only able to win bets because the universe decides to shit on the Bears. So please, Josh McCown, if you can hear me, please stem the tide. Win one for the good guys and help me secure my second steak.

minetta tavern steak

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  • With the advantage of hindsight, I ask: Will Cutler match McCown's 300-yard game? Take the poll: http://www.chicagonow.com/dennis-byrnes-barbershop/2013/12/poll-will-jay-cutler-match-josh-mccowns-300-yard-game/

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