Are You Sucking the Life Out of Everyone?

relationship quote orloff

Energy Vampires.   Are you one of them?

I first learned the term in Judith Orloff's book, Positive Energy.  Simply put, a person who is an Energy Vampire saps our exuberance.   "Each millisecond of our relationships is governed by a give and take of energy," Judith wrote.  "Some people make us more electric or at ease.  Others suck the life right out of us."

Sometimes it's not easy to notice the Energy Vampires around us. I had a friend who turned out to be a  Queen Vampire.  We spent a lot of time together and I first thought this would be a friend for life.  After a while (it took a few years!), I began to notice that I was becoming incredibly drained after our time together.  My friend, on the other hand, was leaving on an energetic high and couldn't wait to get together again.  My friend was renewed every time; I was exhausted.  I began to pay more attention to the energy exchange between us and I noticed our conversations were centered mostly around my friend.  The same old problems, the same old topics, the same old merry-go-round was surfacing each and every time.  Despite our years of conversation, my friend knew very little about me.  I finally recognized the toxicity which was occurring and slowly ended the friendship.

When I look back on my life, I can see the Energy Vampires much more clearly now that I've learned to set boundaries and cherish the way I spend my time from day to day.  I'm also learning how to keep tabs on my own energy and how others are absorbing it. I'm learning to listen more, and talk less.  I'm learning to wake up each day with gratitude to set the tone for the day.

Today, I choose to surround myself with those whose energy fields are positive and uplifting.  I love relationships where the exchange of energy is a win-win for both of us.  Life is too short to hang around the vampires.


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