The Inexplicable High

Don’t make my blood glucose go through the roof, you won’t like me when it is high. 

This best sums up my attitude yesterday.  I was inexplicably high all day and man did my mood reflect it.  I am becoming pretty good at hiding it.  I don’t want people to know me as dissatisfied or angry me.  Why are my blood levels so high?  Yes, I had a lot of carbs but I accounted for each and every one of them.  I am starting to realize more and more that I cannot have many carbs per meal because for some reason even if I cover it, it does not matter.

It is really frustrating to me.  A lot of why I get irritable is because I begin to feel odd pains when I am high.  It lasts until my blood glucose goes back to normal again.  I hate the feeling incredibly, in fact I am writing this blog on pure raw emotion.  I am disregarding grammar, I will always be a stickler for spelling that is one thing my mood cannot let slip.

I can feel it when I breathe in, it feels different they is a certain smell to it.  I can feel it with every breath, which I cannot stop for obvious reasons.  I can feel it in my bones in every muscle twitch with every blink of my eye, I am so annoyed.

If the Incredible Hulk was diabetic, the world would not stand a chance we would all be doomed.  In fact maybe he was.  I never read comics but did they ever discover if insulin helped to calm him and with every bite of a candy bar his mood and skin color would change.

Am I a super hero just aching (literally) to be discovered?  Is that my purpose. to use all of these highs to my advantage and save the world?  Probably not, but it was a nice thought for a second to take my mind off of this putrid feeling.  I do not like the angry me, he sucks.  Diabetes sucks, carbs are dumb, and so is the fact that we landed a rover on Mars but yet there is no cure for diabetes.  Maybe the secret is there, on a planet millions of miles away.  If so let me be the first test subject.  I am tired of these bad days of diabetes.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Tags: diabetes, diabetic, type 1, type 2

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