Don’t make my blood glucose go through the roof, you won’t like me when it is high.
This best sums up my attitude yesterday. I was inexplicably high all day and man did my mood reflect it. I am becoming pretty good at hiding it. I don’t want people to know me as dissatisfied or angry me. Why are my blood levels so high? Yes, I had a lot of carbs but I accounted for each and every one of them. I am starting to realize more and more that I cannot have many carbs per meal because for some reason even if I cover it, it does not matter.
It is really frustrating to me. A lot of why I get irritable is because I begin to feel odd pains when I am high. It lasts until my blood glucose goes back to normal again. I hate the feeling incredibly, in fact I am writing this blog on pure raw emotion. I am disregarding grammar, I will always be a stickler for spelling that is one thing my mood cannot let slip.
I can feel it when I breathe in, it feels different they is a certain smell to it. I can feel it with every breath, which I cannot stop for obvious reasons. I can feel it in my bones in every muscle twitch with every blink of my eye, I am so annoyed.
If the Incredible Hulk was diabetic, the world would not stand a chance we would all be doomed. In fact maybe he was. I never read comics but did they ever discover if insulin helped to calm him and with every bite of a candy bar his mood and skin color would change.
Am I a super hero just aching (literally) to be discovered? Is that my purpose. to use all of these highs to my advantage and save the world? Probably not, but it was a nice thought for a second to take my mind off of this putrid feeling. I do not like the angry me, he sucks. Diabetes sucks, carbs are dumb, and so is the fact that we landed a rover on Mars but yet there is no cure for diabetes. Maybe the secret is there, on a planet millions of miles away. If so let me be the first test subject. I am tired of these bad days of diabetes.