How was my weekend? That is a loaded question. The answer and resulting feelings may take all week to explain. I guess I should start from the beginning. Last Tuesday a client made me frustrated on the phone at work. Since we are not allowed to be mean to folks on the phone, I used my foot and took my frustration out on the ground.
Yes the not quite healed broken foot. I felt some swelling but I just figured it was my foot’s way of reminding me that it is still healing from previous stupidity. The swelling did not seem to go down and when I came home I could not wait to take my shoes off and put my foot up. Then I noticed some pain on the bottom of my foot. I took my sock off to examine further and it seemed that a blister formed.
As I have stated before I think feet are gross so having to examine them is not my favorite thing. I left the blister alone but put some topical antibiotic and dressing on top. I thought that would be enough. I was wrong. It seemed to be draining every day. There was nothing I could do to stop it. I tried though, I kept changing the antibiotic and dressing. Each time hoping that it would begin to heal, it did not seem to want to.
Finally Friday came along and I examined it again. This time there were mysterious red lines forming on my foot. This was the last straw, the final alarm. I took myself to the ER. Here I sit a couple of days later, typing this blog from my hospital bed, surrounded by sounds of those much sicker than I. I am awaiting an MRI and another test to determine if I am infected, well I already know I am infected but just how deep is the infection and if my bones are.
This disease is unrelenting. It is there to remind us every day of its presence. I sit here with hope of being able to escape today. I hate hospitals, most people do, but I hate the feeling of being caged and not being able to move about and come and go as I would like. I thought I was doing everything correct this time.
Tomorrow I will write about my feelings, the feeling of knowing that this disease is here to stay and my weakness against it. The feeling that no matter how well I do, this disease can rob you.