Friends with Diabenefits.

Sorry not at all what you were thinking based on headline alone.

As I am sure is the case with many diabetics I’ve had the “so what do we do if you pass out?” conversation.  I do not answer at first because it is fun to watch them try to guess.  It goes from funny to “please don’t touch me and call 911 in a flash.  No, most of my friends did not finish medical school, some most did not even start.

From my point of view I am not a fan of having this talk.  It is boring, and I do not like talking at length about my diabetes.  I mean except for this blog of course.  It is appropriate here otherwise it would just be blank space.  Really though, it is tedious and now even with a pump it seems even more tedious.  I mean, I had to take a 2 hour class to learn the pump.

I would rather not spend a large part of my time explaining my pump and its workings.  So here is the basics, put strip in meter, wait for prompt, poke finger, apply blood, wait 5 seconds.  The unit will then tell you if I am high or low.   You can then administer insulin or juice depending on what the situation calls for.  Then wait for me to rise from the dead and become an awesome zombie.  You should probably still call the ambulance because you probably still screwed up.

I am kidding of course.  I guess I made it seem easy.  I suppose this task is not as daunting as it seems but 911 should always be called, you never know.  Plus I get a room and food, it is literally club med.  In my heart of hearts your friends should know how to handle this situation.  Though it will be a rare occasion that they have to deal with it, I can feel a low and high coming on. When I get those feelings I do what I have to to remedy the situation.  This is not the case across the board though.

I know I sounded like you should not have this conversation but you seriously should even if it is a basic tutorial.  You never know when it will come in handy and one of your friends will save your life and you will have to help them move whenever they ask.  No matter what because “hey man. Do you remember when I saved your life?”

Filed under: Uncategorized

Tags: diabetes, diabetic, type 1, type 2

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    Patrick O'Hara

    Patrick is a Chicago born comedian. He blogs about every random thing that pops in his head. He has performed all over the Tri-State area and studied at The Second City. He gives great hugs.

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