I feel like I just became diabetic

The last couple of months have been weird for me.  Even though I was diagnosed 20 years ago I feel like I was recently diagnosed.  I am learning more and more about myself and this disease every day.  I am on the web constantly looking for answers to questions. I try to find ways to better take care of myself and looking for stories similar to mine.

I find there are many who have the same feelings I do, the doubtful moments when things are not perfect.  I have never had such a hunger to be healthy before in my life.  I have even started to “eat” 2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar because it has an effect of lowering sugar levels according to studies.  I must admit, I have tried to add it to salads because it is hard to take straight.  I am sure I make a pretty funny face.

I am willing to try most things to right the wrongs of my past life.  I am even looking into some studies I might be able to participate in.  This disease does not define me, it is just a part of me.   I know the strains it can cause.  I know the struggles I come across every day.  I also know that if I slip up it is akin to having to start over again.  I definitely do not want to do that.

I cannot tell you how much I wish I did not have diabetes.  I miss sweets, I even miss alcohol but only a little.  I was never much of a drinker.  Being a comedian it is not easy turning away free alcohol but diet soda is also free for the most part.  I am still getting used to being a diabetic.  I am learning a lot about myself and learning that even with a smaller diet I am not hungry too much.  I am doing the best I possibly can and reaping the rewards for it.  Still, I feel like the diagnosis is new and to me that is sad.  I should be a pro by now but instead I am still learning.

It is not the easiest disease to have but I am managing and right now that is okay with me.

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Tags: diabetes

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