The last couple of months have been weird for me. Even though I was diagnosed 20 years ago I feel like I was recently diagnosed. I am learning more and more about myself and this disease every day. I am on the web constantly looking for answers to questions. I try to find ways to better take care of myself and looking for stories similar to mine.
I find there are many who have the same feelings I do, the doubtful moments when things are not perfect. I have never had such a hunger to be healthy before in my life. I have even started to “eat” 2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar because it has an effect of lowering sugar levels according to studies. I must admit, I have tried to add it to salads because it is hard to take straight. I am sure I make a pretty funny face.
I am willing to try most things to right the wrongs of my past life. I am even looking into some studies I might be able to participate in. This disease does not define me, it is just a part of me. I know the strains it can cause. I know the struggles I come across every day. I also know that if I slip up it is akin to having to start over again. I definitely do not want to do that.
I cannot tell you how much I wish I did not have diabetes. I miss sweets, I even miss alcohol but only a little. I was never much of a drinker. Being a comedian it is not easy turning away free alcohol but diet soda is also free for the most part. I am still getting used to being a diabetic. I am learning a lot about myself and learning that even with a smaller diet I am not hungry too much. I am doing the best I possibly can and reaping the rewards for it. Still, I feel like the diagnosis is new and to me that is sad. I should be a pro by now but instead I am still learning.
It is not the easiest disease to have but I am managing and right now that is okay with me.