Happy one second then sad then angry, I have never experienced mood swings like this. People with diabetes can be prone to this. It can be anything from a change in blood glucose levels to watching people gleefully gorge themselves with brownies.
The fact is that I do not enjoy the swings, I imagine most people do not. Sunday I went to a house where my friend from improv(inside joke) lives. She was hosting a few people for a board game night. We played “Killing Dr. Lucky” despite the morbid sounding name it is incredibly fun. Oh and I won, I totally killed Dr. Lucky with a shoe horn. I never thought of it as a murderous weapon so as a caution be kind to the folks who sell shoes for a living.
When I am around a group of people if I feel a good vibe I get into my funny mode. I crack jokes and I try to make everyone laugh. I do not know why but it was not enough, I mean for a few hours I was great but then I left and the sadness set in. I am typically a happy and optimistic person so when things get dark it has a profound effect on me.
I know I am doing the best for myself, I know that I am on the path to healthy and I find happiness in that. I have a great family and magnificent friends, I know it is not nice to gloat but my friends could totally take your friends in a fight. By fight I mean a hug war. The tightest hug with the most warmth wins. Even as I type this I am beating away the bad feelings by trying to add a bit of levity to this post.
I can honestly tell you that I love life and I know people have it worse than I. I know it is most likely just temporary and I will be back to my old self sometime soon. Lately, I decided to buy a ukulele, her name is ukulayla, I want to learn how to play it and write songs. I really think it is a beautiful sounding instrument, not when I play but when played well it can bring you to your knees. It seems it will take a bit, who knew there were so many chords based on 4 strings.
I suppose the point is that I am searching for anything to keep my mind busy so I will not have time to be upset. This blog does a tremendous job of that. I broke my foot a few months ago and I wish it would heal so I can start working out and get aggression out that way. I am pretty laid back and it is weird to be angry and laid back. My aggression is passive just thoughts of how much of an idiot someone is or how hard is it to flip your turn signal on the expressway and why am I getting caught by another train, I have to go to the bathroom. Anyway, I know I will overcome this I just want it sooner rather than later.