Recently I have begun playing a fun little game, when I shop I look at bad foods I used to eat and see how they compare to my current diet. Usually it leaves me astonished, I mean it is gross. One of my favorite things is peanut butter I was one of those people that could eat it with a spoon and nothing else, don’t judge me. Now, I can still eat it but only a couple of table spoons as opposed to the glob I would throw in between bread.
If you are not familiar glob is the measurement of percentage of peanut butter to inability to talk after eating a bite of it, definitely not a failsafe unit of measurement. Another weakness, don’t judge me, were these huge chimichangas that Walmart sells. They were so big they called them XL. I looked at the carbs for just one of these, 80. Bear in mind I am only supposed to have 75 carbs per meal now in my new life. So I was eating more than my allowed carb amount with just one, except I would eat two. I am not stating this because I am proud, it has helped me gain perspective.
I became reliant on food to make me feel satisfied. The more I ate the “better” I felt. It is a strange bit of therapy looking back at how you lived your life. I do not know how I lived through it or how I am not 500 pounds. None of that matters anyway. All I know is that it is not a healthy lifestyle. I have found new satisfaction with food and that it is healthy. I am eating more fish and vegetables. I enjoy those foods but I was always more of fan of food that I could bring home and it would be ready in minutes.
Though I feel a maturity in my new eating habits, yes, it takes longer but man is it good. I feel like I will check labels of food I used to eat with reckless abandon as a reminder to myself that I never want to go back to that way of life. I do admit I get hungry a lot more often now but that just makes every meal that much more enjoyable. My list of foods to regret is long, but it will be just a reminder of how well I am doing now and to keep moving forward.
I would be lying if I said that I did not miss the chimichangas but not enough to sacrifice a whole meal for them. Seriously, they were pretty good, take my word for it. I still eat peanut butter but I measure it out and it is still enough to make bread better. I can still love food, and I still do just more a plutonic love though. I just want to be friends food, it is not me, it is you.