Posts tagged "Santa Claus"

Santa Claus ain't comin' to your town, Shlomo Baruch

So this is the conversation I had with my daughter last week. KID: How big are the elves? ME: Uhh, I don’t know, like the size of your Barbies. KID: What does Santa do if his sleigh breaks? ME: No F’ing clue. KID: Does he have a mommy? ME: No. KID: Santa doesn’t have a... Read more »

Happy Last Minute Shopping Day! So many stores, so little time

In honor of the last day of shopping before that fat guy takes credit for all the shit you came up with and worked so hard to pay for and then spent like a million hours wrapping because they all came in abnormally shaped boxes that suck. Wait, I don’t think that was a complete... Read more »

What to tell a kid who's doubting the whole Santa Claus thing

Lately I’ve heard a lot of my friends with older kids complaining that their kids are starting to question the whole Santa Claus thing. Ordinarily I’d be like you suck because your kids are out of diapers and go to school all day so WTH are you complaining about, but in the spirit of the... Read more »