Muhahahahahaha, it’s Halloween month, time to be scaaaaaary. And recently I saw this totally badass post that someone wrote based on the question “What is the best horror story you can come up with in two sentences?” I was like hells yeah, that is brilliant.
So I thought, heyyy I’m a writer, I can do that. But mine’s gonna have a little twist. Here goes. Ten horror stories told in two sentences taken straight out of a Mom’s day:
1. I held my breath as I saw the shadow of two feet stop in front of the bathroom door where I was hiding. Her evil voice called out from the other side, “Mommmmyyy, I know you’re in therrrre.”
2. My husband tried to stop me, but desperate to see the scene of the crime I burst into my baby’s room. I will never be able to erase the horrifying image of her pink walls covered with giant streaks of poo from her diaper.
3. I could hear a crying sound coming from the tunnel and my worst fears were realized. He was stuck in the gerbil tube at Chuckee Cheese and I would have to go in to get him.
4. It was quiet, eerily quiet, so I walked down the stairs terrified of what I was going to find. There was red everywhere, and standing there in the middle of the scene was my sweet little toddler holding up an empty tube of lipstick.
5. For three long hours she tortured me until I was in agony and felt like I couldn’t take the pain anymore. The final blow came when we finished and the saleswoman said, “Thanks for coming to American Girl Doll, that will be $736.”
6. My son’s piercing screams ripped through the cabin and I held him tight knowing it would all be over soon. And then I heard, “Sorry folks, uhh, I just got word that due to a weather system we’ll be circling for at least another 50 minutes. That’s 5-0, not 1-5.” ‘
7. As I lay there on the couch too tired to move, I could hear his footsteps walking into the room. A shiver crawled up my spine as I watched his finger press the channel button and the Caillou theme song started to play.
8. I turned the corner and immediately realized I had made a fatal mistake that would not end well. "No," I said and he threw himself to the ground in a pile of tears and snot right in the middle of the candy aisle.
9. I could hear a small child’s voice calling to me from the dark basement. As I tiptoed down the stairs, I saw her pale plastic skin glowing in the moonlight and her demonic dolly voice calling out to me, “I’m hungry, Mommy.”
10. A putrid smell was coming from inside the trunk, so strong my gag reflex kicked in and I took a step back. I carefully pulled back a blanket and then I saw it, his tuna fish sandwich I sent in his lunchbox two weeks ago.
Don't forget to press the Facebook like button in this article and check out my book I Heart My Little A-Holes. It's not scaaaary at all. Unless you're thinking about having kids.