Archive for June 2014

Aggghhhh, is my husband the only one who can't find shit?!!

ME: Honey, can you get the push-ups for the kids? HUBBY: Sure. Where are they? ME: In the downstairs freezer. (three minutes later) HUBBY: I can’t find them. Are you sure they’re there? ME: 200% sure because I checked before the BBQ to make sure we had enough. (two minutes later) HUBBY: Nope, not there.... Read more »

Dah dah dah dahhhhhhhhh!!!! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s SUUUUPER TODDLER!!

Dah dah dah dahhhhhhhhh!!!! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s SUUUUPER TODDLER!!
Yeah, I know stumbling around the playground they just look like annoying little rugrats, but just you wait. Because these little shorties are actually superheroes disguised in saggy diapers!!!!! Can they fly? No. Do they have x-ray vision? Niet. But holy shit do these pint-sized poop-machines have some unbelievable superpowers. So I present to you... Read more »

Some people like dance recitals. I am not one of them.

Okay, so I recently signed Zoey up for dance class because A. She was begging me to death to let her, and B. Because of this: Seriously, there is nothing (NOTHING!!!!) more adorable than a little girl in a dance costume and I have ALWAYS wanted to see my little girl in one.  But what... Read more »
Advertisement:

Annnnd then there are the times you DON'T catch the vomit

Okay, so this weekend my hubby went to our neighbor’s house for a little poker night, and at first I was like don’t wake my ass when you come home all stinkin’ drunk, stinkin’ of cigars and stinkin’ up the room with your farts at 2AM, and he was like I’ll TRYYYY not to, so... Read more »