Dear Yik Yak creators,
I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you so much for creating your new app. I’m not surprised at all that it’s spreading like wildfire across the country. I mean it's basically a constant twitter-like feed that students can post things to anonymously. F’ing brilliant! Before your Yik Yak app, people needed to stand behind their words, but now with Yik Yak students can say absolutely ANYTHING they want and no one will know who said it. This is exactly what our young people need. So they can anonymously say shit like:
Hey everyone be REALLY nice to Sheldon today. He’s having a rough time.
Did you hear that Jessica ISN'T a slut? Go Jessica!
I love the Math Club!!
Wait, what’s that you say? They’re not posting stuff like this? Well guess what, I have three words for you (hold on while I put my caps lock on). NO SHIT SHERLOCK. The LAST thing you want kids to be able to do is say shit anonymously. Wanna know why? Because here’s the kind of stuff they’re more likely to post:
Mary gave blowjobs to half the football team yesterday. Slut.
Ryan’s parents are out of town. Party at his house tonight!
I just planted a bomb in the locker room at Lincoln High School.
I think I might kill myself tonight.
Sheldon is a total loser and if you see him today, tell him you hate him and he should die.
Anyone know where I can score some good coke?
My stepfather has been touching me when my mom goes to bed.
Ahhhh, it’s so nice that a fourteen-year-old has a safe place to anonymously say that he’s going to kill himself tonight so that no one knows who he is. And thanks guys, cyberbullying really needed another medium. Especially an anonymous one because before this, parents were totally shutting it down whenever they saw it going on. And that was just oppressive to mean people.
In case you can’t tell (because you were stoopid enough to think your app was going to do more good than harm), I’m being sarcastic. What’s that you say? Your app isn’t for high school students, it’s for college students who are mature and responsible? Bwahahahahahahha! Seriously? Have you never been to a frat party where guys were doing keg stands and then spraying girls in white t-shirts with beer and then drawing with Sharpie markers all over that one guy who passed out because they made him chug four funnels? Yeah, college students are sooooo responsible and mature. Oh, but I almost forgot, you wrote some rules saying not to do mean shit on Yik Yak? Oh come on, do you seriously think the cyberbullies are playing by the rules?
I know the Chicago school system is doing their best to shut Yik Yak down in their schools, but how about this? How about you shut it down EVERYWHERE? How about you help us protect our kids by NOT offering them a secret place to pick on each other, to score drugs, to make empty threats, to make legitimate threats, to hurt themselves, to hurt each other. Now that would be responsible and mature.
Thanks for your consideration,
A mom who’s scared shitless of cyberbullying and a lot of other stuff that happens on the Internet
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