Archive for February 2014

How to be the perfect housewife without doing much at all

How to be the perfect housewife without doing much at all
Holy crap, have you ever seen this shit? How to be a good housewife in the 1950’s. Cracks my ass up every time. Well, part of it cracks me up and part of it makes me cry inside for these poor mommies who were expected to be perfect and make crap like Jell-O molds and... Read more »

The Happy Birthday Colin Page isn’t just about Colin

The Happy Birthday Colin Page isn’t just about Colin
  Dear Colin, Okay, so I saw the Happy Birthday Colin page your mom started (go check it out here if you haven’t seen it) and let me start by saying that your mom is totally awesome. AWESOME! She really put all of her feelings out there for everyone to see by creating that amazing... Read more »

Why potty training sucks ass and I am not enjoying this one single bit

Why potty training sucks ass and I am not enjoying this one single bit
Okay, so hindsight is 20/20 and I really should have waited to potty train Holden because A. Diapers are like totally easy, especially if you’re like me and don’t really give a crap whether your kiddo marinates in pee-pee for a little while. And B. Potty training takes like a boatload of work and totally... Read more »
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Valentine's Day cereal, just call me MOM OF THE YEARRRR

Valentine's Day cereal, just call me MOM OF THE YEARRRR
Awwww shit, I totally feel like the shittiest mom on the planet right now. So I’m talking to my friend the other day and she’s like my kids love the elf on the shelf sooooo much, I made a cupid on the shelf for the month leading up to Valentine’s Day. I smiled nicely and... Read more »

Holy moly, I just figured out why four-year-olds are the way they are

So the other day my four-year-old was being like so incredibly awful that I started to wonder what to do. I was about to post this question on my mom’s Facebook group: Has anyone used a good exorcist around here that you would recommend? But then like two seconds later she was hugging me and... Read more »

Love isn't all you need

I have just met the most awesome couple ever. I kid you not, when it comes to couples, this is like the most amazing couple I’ve ever seen. They’re absolutely perfect in every way except for one thing. They can’t have a baby. They live in San Jose, California in this lovely house in a... Read more »
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    Karen Alpert

    Karen is the ridiculously hairy, self-deprecating writer of the blog Baby Sideburns. She has spent the past fifteen years working for national advertising agencies until she was promoted to her newest favorite job— Mommy. She lives with her two amazing kiddos and a very forgiving husband who is kind enough not to call her Cousin It when she undresses for bed every night.

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