How Baby Sideburns would say it: Buy my F’ing Book.
How an Italian would say it: Buya mya booka.
How Tina Fey would say it: Holy crap, this book is funny. Buy it.
How my Jewish mother would say it: Woe is me, my grandchildren are starving and my daughter entertains you every week because she’s the funniest lady on earth, so buy her book and help her feed her the most adorable kids that ever lived.
How a poopie troll would say it: This book is an abomination and God is going to take your kids away from you, Baby Sideburns, and now I’m going to unlike you and nobody is going to buy your devil pages.
How God would say it: Yo crazy poopie troll lady, do you seriously think I have time to read blogs?
How Martha Stewart would say it: Buy it for the delightful chapter on vagina cupcakes. Mmmm, so moist.
How a proctologist would say it: Before you buy this hilarious book, come see me if you need any large sticks removed from your ass.
How George Clooney would say it: This book is so funny, Baby Sideburns, I want to sleep with you and have your babies.
How Baby Sideburns would say it: George, lemme discuss it with my husband. And for the rest of you buy my F’ing book. Pleeeeease. And thank you in advance for being so damn awesome.