I suck. No, unfortunately not like that anymore. Well, sometimes, but not often enough. But seriously sometimes I think I’m a terrible wife.
Like I hate myself for dumping the kids on you the minute you walk in the door. I mean you’ve been working your ass off all day to put food on the table and knock-off Uggs on our feet, and what do I do the second you come home from work? “DEAR GOD TAKE THESE RUG RATS BEFORE I MURDER THEMMMM!!!” And then I run like the wind.
And then we’re invited to hang out at a friend’s house on the weekend and I’m enjoying myself guzzling wine and laughing when suddenly I glance over and notice that you’re stuck watching our toddler because the house isn’t childproofed, so I saunter over and say something like:
ME: Honey, let me know if you get tired of watching him and I’ll take over.
But really we both know that it’s only a half-assed offer and I’m hoping you don’t take me up on it.
Anyways, my point is not to say I suck. Even though I do. My point is to say thank you. They always say women can’t have it all, but honestly, I don’t know why the hell they say that. I mean it’s true. Women can’t have it all. But guess what. Neither can men. You get up at the butt crack o’dawn to work your ass off and then you come up to a nagging wife who dumps the rug rats on you the split second you walk through the door. How is that having it all?
If you’re at work you’re not with your kids and if you’re with your kids then there’s something else you’re not doing. Whether you’re a mom or a dad.
So honey, thank you. You may not know it, but you have two jobs. And you’re kicking ass at both of them.
The flash of light you see running out the door when you get home every night
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