Men experience simulated labor. Who the hell doesn’t want to see two grown men writhing in pain?

Holy shit, have you seen this? Two guys decided to see a doctor who could simulate what it feels like to be in labor. This video cracks me the hell up, and of course, I have a few of my own thoughts.

1. I love how every time men do this (yes, I’ve seen another video where these two other dudes do the same thing), they have to do it in pairs. Yo dickwads, we do this all alone. I think it’s total bullshit that you have your friend by your side. I mean, like seriously, can you imagine:

(ring ring)

JULIE: Hello?

BETH: Hey Julie, I’m going into labor. Want to do it with me?

JULIE: Hells yeah I do! Hold on a sec while I break my water.

2. You know what else is total bullshit about this? How they wear those shitty paper gowns OVER their pants. That’s like 1/one-millionth as embarrassing as wearing nothing from the waist down with a bunch of people staring at your vajayjay as a head comes out of it. So gentlemen, take off your pants and let it all hang out.

3. I think my all-time favorite moment in this entire video is when the guy tells his wife to stop smiling and she high-fives her friend. Yes. Just yes.

4. And I LOVE how the wives walk in with Starbucks. Perfect. Aww, honey, I totally forgot to get your ice chips when I got my delicious, steaming hot, caffeinated latte. Want me to go back?

5. If this were my doctor in the next room performing this and I was sitting there waiting for her ass to get into my exam room like a total jackass in my paper gown while she finished this shit, I’d be like, “Hells yeah doc, you take as long as you F’ing need. Teach those boys a lesson.”

6. Oh wait, another favorite moment! I totally forgot! When the guy is like writhing in pain and says, “I’m hoping it’s a seven,” and the camera guy answers him, “No, you’re at a four.” Bwahahahaha! Diet coke just squirted out my nose and hurt like shit but it was TOTALLY worth it.

7. And at the end of it all, that one guy has the gall to say, “I felt like I was having a baby.” No you didn’t jackass. You felt what it’s like to be in labor. After alllll that pain, guess what you still didn’t experience. What it feels like to squeeze a watermelon out your hoo-ha. Which is basically the equivalent to squeezing a baseball out your peeper. Want to go back in and get the full effect? I’m happy to help.

8. You owe your wives a big fat apology. Just as soon as they stop laughing. In like ten years!

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