The Boston Marathon is F’ing amazing and so are most people

It’s hard to know what to write when shit like this happens. Most people are totally awesome in this world, but there are always a few trolls who want to bring the others down. It reminds me of when you buy a batch of strawberries and almost the whole batch is red and delicious except for that one moldy guy that’s hiding at the bottom and wants to spread his misery to all the others. Sorry, I digress.

Anyway, Boston is very close to my heart. I was born there, lived there for ten years, met and married my husband there, had my first child there, and left there reluctantly. So when I turned on the news today and saw what was going on, my heart was in my throat. And I had a few thoughts.

1. WTF is wrong with someone? Or someones? I just want to know, what are you trying to achieve by doing this? Are you happy now? Wherever you are sitting like an F’ing coward, are you happy? You killed an eight-year-old. An EIGHT-YEAR-OLD! I hope you’re sitting there thinking, oh shit, I killed a child. I didn’t mean to kill a child. But I know you’re not thinking that because you’re a heartless asshole who was born without a heart or a conscience or anything good. One day I fully expect to see you in hell, only I’ll be on the good side that’s serving margaritas and you’ll be on the bad side where it’s painfully hot and you have nothing to drink but sand.

2. Wait, I’m not done with you asshole. What would your mother think if she knew what you did? She would be ashamed. Because she’s a mother and she knows that you took someone’s baby away today, and she can’t imagine anything worse.

3. I am amazed by people who run the Boston Marathon. Any marathon for that matter. Hell, I’m amazed by people who run for fun. The only time I run is when my kid is bolting towards a busy road or something. But the Boston Marathon is like the marathon of all marathons with hills and shit. So these people who run it kick some serious ass. Anyone who doesn’t respect the hell out of them and worship the ground they pound on is an idiot.

4. Somebody’s baby didn’t come home today. Somebody else’s grownup baby didn’t come home today either. Because your baby is still your baby no matter how old they are. My heart breaks for these parents. You can’t help but think that could be me.

5. Did you see all those people run toward the explosion to help? There is only one word for them. Heroes. I’m going to assume there were way more people who ran to help than ones who are responsible for this heinous crime. Because you know what, there are more good people in the world than bad. Wayyyyyy more.

6. Can we just make a new rule? Can we just all agree that if you’re going to set off a bomb to make some dumbass point, can we just agree NOT to do it where there are kids? I mean, I don’t agree with the whole bombing thing at all—bombs SUCK as far I’m concerned— but seriously if you have to F’ing do it is it so hard to find a place with all adults? I could list a few places, but I think if you’re smart enough to build a bomb, you’re smart enough to figure out some childless places to hit.

7. Boston is one of the most amazing cities in this country. I’d say the most amazing but I lived in Austin and nothing is more amazing than Austin. But Boston is phenomenal. You can walk across the entire city in half a day. You can eat some of the best lobster rolls on earth. You can walk along the brick sidewalks and feel like you’re walking in Europe it’s so old and charming. You can sit on the river and listen to the Boston Pops serenade you. You can ride in a swan boat that goes like negative two miles per hour but you don’t care because the garden surrounding you is so pretty. You can sit in one of the oldest baseball stadiums around and feel this rush of energy that’s impossible to explain. Or you can run the most famous marathon on the planet.

Anyway, those are a few of my random thoughts tonight. Sorry for the ultra serious post. I didn’t lose my funny. I just tucked it away for a while.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Leave a comment