Getting Older Ain't Easy

Getting Older Ain't Easy

...but it sure beats the alternative.

This has been a dizzying month within a medical whirlwind.

Not one, but two people have had the "It's not cancer" phone call, but one neighbor got the it IS cancer call. The town is rallying behind her and sending positive thoughts and prayers her way. Our beloved 1st grade teacher has been continuing her fight against cancer with a can-do attitude that staggers me. And on Tuesday, one of Scott's co-workers lost her battle with cancer.

I was one of those who got the NOT cancer call (and I am still trying to catch my breath after all of it).

My stupid right shoulder has been giving me grief and the fingers in my right hand would go numb, so we got an x-ray and there was a mass.

Now, "Mass" is a freaky word you only want to hear when discussing science or church (look at that- science and religion getting along), because the other two connotations involve a killing spree: like mass murder, or some dark cloud on an x-ray.

A bone scan (in which I had to have radioactive Technetium injected and I could set off a Geiger Counter!) revealed nothing alarming. Phew. It may be a cyst.

Of course this prompted me to wonder if it may be one of those cysts that has teeth and hair, or maybe I enveloped my twins' fetus in my arm. You know... logical thoughts. I deduced that an x-ray would have revealed the teeth (eew), but either way, I mentioned this to my friend Amy, who laughed that my mass was like the Annoying Orange. (If you don't know who this is, consider yourself lucky. I am omitting a link, because then you would be mad at me for introducing him into your previous Orange-free life. You're welcome.)

Upon hearing the 'no cancer' news, I shared it with those few people you let in on health issues. We went out to celebrate that next night, where I was presented with the object in the photo above, my very own Annoying Orange. But wait, there's more. As I came from the bathroom, Keri & Amy had donned masks, gloves and held Comet and sponges and I got the "Silkwood Treatment" to rid me of my radiation.

Everyone needs friends like that. It made me laugh my ass off. We also out celebrating last Sunday over the "it's not cancer" news of our other friend. Now, there is a real reason to celebrate.

So, I got a cortisone shot (ouch!) and am on 'arm rest' for 3 weeks.  We are hoping it's not a tear, just tendonitis.

Further down my right arm, I am wearing a wrist brace to bed for carpal tunnel issues-which was causing my fingers to go numb, and now also a lovely stocking for my right leg and it's vericose vein, named Lumpy (thanks again, Keri).

Who knew these veins weren't just unsightly? I kept ignoring it, but they can make you throw a clot and all kinds of blood flow issues.

What I am saying it that I am right sexy as I get ready for bed:

Teeth whitening strips? Check

Heart Meds? Check

Right wrist guard? Check

Right leg stocking? Check

Oh! And I cracked a back molar. Super. There's a crown on order for me, and I have a lovely filler-in now. At least this had the decency to be on my left side!

Ay, Mama!


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