And the Oscar Goes To...

The Oscars. Love 'em or hate 'em, in my opinion, it all comes down to this: big movie stars are a bunch of assholes.

Seriously, they get paid exceedingly well to do a really cool thing as their career,  and they get fame, adoration and free swag.

Oh, but then, if they did a really, really good job, instead of a raise or maybe just a pat on the back like we'd get, they get not one, but SEVERAL nights of pomp and cicrumstance, gowns, stylists, starvation and flash bulbs. It'd be kind of hard not to get too jaded.

OK, maybe I'm just jealous. I'm a fan of Oscar. I print out the nominees. Queue up Netflix and only see nominated movies until the big night. I tell the kids when one of their movies is nominated and we get all excited (C'mon 'Man or Muppet'- I love you Jason Segal and Bret McKenzie ('Flight of the Conchords'!))

As I watch, I daydream (in my PJs with my Oscar picks and a glass of wine, perhaps showered... perhaps not) of how completely mindblowing it would be to live the experience of Oscar night as an insider.

Can you freaking imagine entering the room and sitting across from Kenneth Branagh AND Matt Damon? Peeing next to Meryl?  How are you not rubber-necking to see Jack or Brad or other one-named celeb? Knowing me, I'd be kicked out for sneaking photos of Clooney in the background. Do the actors there get all giddy and excited? I'd like to think so. Do they care anymore or are they so used to being the center of attention constantly, it's just normal life to them?

Maybe that's why my favorite Oscar moments stem from those actors that were fully into that moment and were genuinely blown away. Halle Berry crying as she broke that glass ceiling. Roberto Benigni hopping over chairs to claim his Oscar from fellow Italian Sophia Loren. Cuba Gooding, Jr. leaping around the stage.

Enough with excessive thanking; live in that joy. That moment that everybody has imagined while standing in front of a mirror, thanking the Academy through their hair brush.


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