Let me count the ways...

NEWSFLASH! BOYS ARE DIFFERENT FROM GIRLS!!

I've read a few stories about adults who have a problem with that statement (??!!) but most of us assume this to be true and I’m not here to dispute it. True, I’m a BoyMom and I don't know a thing about raising Girls. But honey, let me tell you: Testosterone is real.

Granted, raising children period is more than a notion. Still, I can only pray (and sit with a lil’ envy) that GirlMoms don’t have the issues BoyMoms have. *Yes Girls bring their own… drama. But Moms let’s face it, we know what being a Girl is about. Aaah, but Boys? They are a whole different… uh, experience.

*I once asked my cousin, Yejide, Mother of 2 brilliant/beautiful Girls and 3 brilliant/beautiful Boys, “Cuz, around the house, what’s the difference between Boys and Girls?” And this wise woman thoughtfully paused then said, “A Girl will look at a toilet flush and wonder how it works. A Boy will look at toilet flush and try to get in it.” Oohkay. Got it.

In the 12.5 years I’ve been BoyMom I have been beaten into submission come to a certain understanding. Among other things, I can never *ever* expect to:

  1. Go 24 hours without hearing talk of, sounds of, or smell some sort of bodily function
  2. Go 24 hours without hearing about, seeing or smelling one of their body parts
  3. Go 24 hours without hearing a noise that sounds as if the house is being broken
  4. Get the last morsel/sip of anything that I really like – unless it’s prunes or liquor [Hey! Don't judge]
  5. Ever have a rug around the toilet

I’m not bitter or sad about these facts – Boys are wonderful creatures. And there’s absolutely no better feeling than being the nest's Queen Bee or building a loving relationship with lovable & articulate pre-Men.

That said, it sure would be nice to rest my tootsies on a soft fuzzy surface while I handle my bodily functions.

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