I'm kinda sorta at a loss for words. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen. And I think it is happening now because I'm as exhausted as I am excited about the fact that the boys and I have spent the last 2 weeks on the east coast with our extended family.
The trip started out as a necessity: funeral services. And somewhere in the trip planning, it occurred to me that, for nearly a decade, I've only returned to my hometown to attend funerals, so I decided to mold this to trip into an actual visit of the people and places of my K-12 years. So the boys and I are here through the holiday weekend.
2 weeks is a LONG time to be away from home. It's an even longer time to be in someone else's home - especially when you're staying with family who isn't used to having children in their house every day. My testosterones and I are a big loud bunch. There's nothing like watching your child in action with their cousins, aunts and uncles to set you straight on your parenting skills to date.
I watch my children interact with the people who knew me before I was parent and I feel pensive and relaxed - constantly. [What kind of parent do I appear to be? If my grandparents were living what would I be doing now? Am I doing them proud? Is this the kind of mother anyone thought I'd be? What am I doing?]
It's also good to be home to be with people who don't care anything about my answers. It's family - I am gonna get talked about and loved. No question.
I will get cracked on, set straight and fed. I will be teased and encouraged. I will be reminded of the pride and sweat invested in our success and happiness.
There's something about experiencing your current choices (parenting style, personal philosophies, stated goals) through the perspective of those who shaped your life. They have seen it all, or something very close to it. Family provides living & breathing examples of how to do it - *no matter what IT is.
With nothing to do but hang out, pick up where you left off, and to find where you fit in, this 2-week sabbatical provides self-reflecting benchmarks. Miracles and mistakes are all a part of it. Just like motherhood.
It's so good to be here.
LAST WEEK'S BLOG > "NOW WHAT?"
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