Is It "Such A Pretty Fat"?

"My GOD!" I screamed as I scooted that damned little weight block up and up the scale at the gym- and it still wouldn't balance! I had to actually move that big black block UP into a new 10-lb range that I have not seen since pregnancy. I was pregnant then. PREGNANT! 
Shit. Shit, Shit!
I'm not gonna get all Oprah on you and start an 'oooh, lose weight with me' contest. Basically, I disgusted myself. Please, take a photo with me pouting in a sports bra and label it "Before"- as I've hit that 'before moment'. (The new rock bottom?)
I know what I should and shouldn't be eating, and go to the gym more to avoid an early death rather than for a slim waistline. I am realistic- that body I had before pregnancy is loooong gone. I know I'm not obese, (though my jeans are snugger than I'd like), but we all know where our bodies 'should be' weight-wise; what feels right and healthy for us.  Are you where you 'should' be right now? 
The crappiest thing is that I go to the gym. I bike. I sweat! I make silly rules for myself every year that I have to keep: No fried potato products (this year). No movie theater or bar popcorn (going on 5 years). I've even eschewed doughnuts for Pete's sake, and yet- this new weight level?! Egads!
About a year ago, I bought some skinny jeans, and was so thrilled. When I asked the age old question about looking fat in them, Scott laughed at me and said that skinny jeans, "are self-editing". I have not worn them in a months. Apparently, I was cut... (or rather, my muffin top was!)
The bottom line, which I hate to face: I am getting older. My metabolism is slowing, and I fear that 'the change' may actually be nearer than I wish to accept. As Scott's mom Joan is fond of saying, "Nobody said getting older didn't hurt." Well, ouch!
Alas, when I want a snack, I am grabbing a grapefruit instead and then cursing up a storm. All this- right in time for Girl Scout Cookies and Cadbury Eggs! Ay, Mama!
(*Thanks to Chicago author and blogger extraordinaire Jen Lancaster for my title- which is also the title of her 3rd book. DO check her out.)

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  • Contrary to popular belief, there's nothing wrong with a big butt and a smile.

  • In reply to gwill:

    I love you!

  • In reply to gwill:

    I had a similar gym scale experience Tuesday. Then went home and ate a sleeve of Girl Scout Thin Mints (the name is misleading). Starting a new exercise class today. Boo slower metabolism! That is good news about the big butt and a smile. I am a card-carrying member of both :).

  • In reply to gwill:

    That first bit (shit, shit shit) was awesome! I laughed out loud. I can totally understand. Every Monday, after a weekend of drinking and late night burritos, I'm always pissed. And of course every Friday, after a week of intense dieting and work outs, I'm always happy, and that leads me to celebrate, which in turn leads to bad Mondays and my "Shit, shit, shit" moments.

  • In reply to gwill:

    Amen sister! Testify!

  • In reply to gwill:

    My goal now is to get at my full pregnancy weight....isn't that sad! I was doing ok and then Christmas, Valentine's Day and Girl Scout cookies happened!

  • In reply to gwill:

    I am there with Andy-Kid. Been there! Still am....sometimes. In any case, very funny entry! And so real! loved it!

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