Karla in the middle

My last 2 entries have been about the constant crying of my 2nd daughter, Karla, and her slow pace.  As I was discussing my topics with my husband, we came up with reasons or theories  for this happening.  We have 2 theories:  one is her birth order and the other is the spacing of our daughters. 

Gaby, our eldest, had 5 years of exclusiveness before Karla came along.  So, Gaby had  undivided attention from us.  We all savored every moment together.  Then we had Karla, and we began to enjoy the moments of a kindergartener and a newborn.  We had the best of both worlds.

Then in January 2008 when Karla was barely a year and a half we find out I'm pregnant again.  This spelled trouble for me because I thought that was Karla was too small to give her a sibling.  I wanted to savor all the same moments with Karla as I did with Gaby.  So, in September 2008, we had Andrea.  Karla was only 2 years and 2 months.  Her jealousy immediately appeared.  At the hospital, Andrea was only a few hours old when Karla came to visit.  A few minutes after arriving she said in her toddler speech, "Baby grandpa, Karla mommy."  We thought how cute, she wants Grandpa to hold the baby and she wants to sit in bed with mom.  In the back of my head, I thought this is the perfect opportunity to show her, she wasn't being replaced but that she's loved equally.  My husband left the baby with me and sat Karla next to me on the bed.  This made her feel very good.

Since then, Karla has been doing things with her sister and not alone.  She feels as if she has to compete for our attention thus, her constant crying and slow pace.  We try to make her feel special by praising her when she does something well.  We also make her feel special by taking her out with us alone, without any sister, so she feels the exclusiveness.  We can tell she feels very special on these days.

Also, Karla is in the middle and feels as if she has to do extraordinary things in order to get our attention.  She is not the oldest to be the first to do things or to do "big girl" things the way Gaby does.  Also, she's not the baby and "small enough" to do the "toddler" things.  She just has to do things her own way.  Sometimes those things are age appropriate and we are so happy to see her do that and other times she tries to be one of her sisters, this is when we have those breakdowns.  She will realize this.  Ay mama!

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Gaby, Karla, and Andrea showing their order on a slide

 

 

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  • I know what you are talking about. My sister went through the same thing. Eventually, it will even out, but spending time individually with the girls is key. That will make sure that especially Karla won't end up with a bad case of middle child syndrome. Or so I've read. :)

  • In reply to anitarudite:

    Thank you Anita for your interest. The saga continues in tomorrow's Ay Mama! Follow along.

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