Are you a "Glam Cam" Reject?

Do you remember my friend Lisa Matthews and her Adam Lambert obsession?  Well, I asked her to be my guest blogger for this week; so prepare to enjoy a hilarious entry from my always funny friend, Lisa.

For those of you who read my first guest blog you know how insanely obsessed I am with the one and only pretty boy and former American Idol Season 8 runner-up, Adam Lambert.  I'm proud to say I'm still infatuated with the glittery-eyed Glambert.  However, since that time I have started back to work part-time and have gotten myself enrolled in school as a Grad student in Physiology.  (I think it was a mid-life crisis or I may have had one too many margaritas when I made that decision!)  Anyhoo, next time I blog I will probably be telling you I've switched over to Art Therapy or something of that nature. So, because of this new job and the fact that I have my head buried in a Biochem textbook studying hemiacetal formations, I haven't had as much time to visit Adam on youtube or twitter...Sorry Adam!  But Glambert fate intervened last week when I walked in from an outside bike ride to learn that a friend of mine from the gym happened upon two Adam Lambert concert tickets to his show in Indy!  OMG, I couldn't believe it!  As you may recall, (from my previous post) I begged and groveled to have my husband drive my daughter and me ten hours away to see Adam in Minnesota back in June. "Why don't you just wait until he tours here?" he asks.  Honey, Adam is NOT going to be playing in Indy or anywhere near Indiana!  Oops!

Now, I'm not one for spontaneity.  Last time, I literally had two months to prepare for my attendance to Adam's glamfest, shopping for platforms, glitter eyeliner, black nail polish, etc.  This time, I had about 5 hours; and, not to mention the fact that my friend is drop dead gorgeous with long blonde hair, tanned skin, big boobs - the whole package.  I must admit I was a little nervous; we (she) would be attracting a lot of attention.  Then I quickly visualized the Adam audience and knew the chances of us coming into contact with any homegrown, heterosexual hotties would be slim to none!  Besides, we're both...ahem... happily married!  Love you, hon!

When we arrived at the venue there were large signs posted on all the doors:  YOU ARE BEING VIDEOTAPED!!  YOU ARE BEING VIDEOTAPED!!  Hmpf, wonder what that's about?  Maybe Adam is secretly watching all his fans arrive!  Hi Adam!  Remember me from the Minnesota show!!  After we got inside I saw the typical (or should I say atypical) Lambert groupies.  And, it occurred to me that there are several sub-sets of people who are always missing.  That's it!  We, the audience, were being videotaped by the "Glam-Cam," secretly being pre-screened...Lambert profiling if you will!  Certain moieties were being REJECTED!  Now, this is not the official scoop from Camp Glambert but here's what I'm thinking:

Attractive females between the ages of 18-29:  REJECT

Plus-sized punk girls wearing all black, displaying multiple tats & piercings:  IN

Tweens donning Justin Bieber and/or Jonas Brothers concert T's:  REJECT

Elderly women equipped with oxygen tanks and walkers:  IN

Young and buff male hotties in Greek T-shirts:  REJECT

Young and buff male hotties in Greek T-shirts who have no clue who Adam is:  IN

Peri-menopausal, menopausal and post-menopausal women:  IN

Men who have been promised sex by their significant other for attending show:  IN

Athletes of any kind:  REJECT

Seniors with AARP Ticketmaster discounts:  IN

Ladies from the local Quilting Club wearing decoupaged AL necklaces:  IN

Pretty boys wearing skinny jeans, V-neck T's, and fingerless gloves:  IN

Displaced Boy George, Freddie Mercury and/or Michael Jackson fans:  IN

Homemakers obsessed with Food Network and HGTV:  IN

Anyone into astrology, witchcraft and/or voodoo:  IN

Fortunately (for Adam, anyway), I'm IN!  And, as you can imagine this crowd was pumped and anxious for Adam!  It was an electrifying party!  My friend and I had a blast!  Although, I think she got a bit annoyed at me for giving her the play-by-play:  Okay, Adam is getting ready to come out wearing his top hat with feathers... now he's going back stage to put on his black button-down vest with the sparkly blue "A" on the back...now he's going to sing....  I'm sure she thought I was about as nuts as the not-so-skinny punk girl in front of us having an out of body experience when Adam sang his new single "If I Had You!"

The take away, besides an amazing performance, was that Adam Lambert caters to all - rejects (or in this case, non-rejects) or not.  Adam's mantra has always been consistent: be true to yourself, find comfort in your own skin, and find a passion in something or someone and embrace it.  After all, life is your party! 

Love & Glitter,

Lisa :)

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Comments

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  • I loved it, Lisa! You are so funny :-) Thanks for being my guest blogger for the week!

  • hay what happend to my comentposted yesterday? Truth hurts doesen't it? Your steriotyping Adam fans is uncalled for. Adam fans are all ages not only over waight,old,pre mano,post mano,manopausal women,old fat women with walker and oxygen tank,women from quilting club,home maker obssessed with food network/HGTV,senior with AARP/ticketmaster discount and many more other insults that you have posted above. You rejected my coment because I told you the truth. A true Adam Fan would defend his fans not other way arround. I say SHAME ON YOU.

  • In reply to indigo:

    Hi Indigo, thanks for your comment. This was not meant to be a stereotypical entry, so I apologize if my guest blogger offended you. Her last blog entry says it all:

    "The take away, besides an amazing performance, was that Adam Lambert caters to all - rejects (or in this case, non-rejects) or not. Adam's mantra has always been consistent: be true to yourself, find comfort in your own skin, and find a passion in something or someone and embrace it. "

    It was meant to be funny. Again, I apologize if this offended you in any way. I'll pass your comment to my guest blogger. Thank you.

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