What To Really Expect

My good friend Lisa Honcharuk will be writing for me today. Lisa is a constant source of amusement to me; I swear, everyone needs a friend like Lisa. She will always stand by you and tell you just like it is.


Ok, so who didn't go out within the first few weeks of being pregnant to purchase the book "What to Expect When You Are Expecting?"  I read it like it was the pregnancy bible and then would panic if I wasn't exactly on the course.  


Fast forward, the love of your life is born and now you need to rush out and buy the sequel, "What to Expect the First Year."  I would gladly tell any new Momma, save your money and treat yourself to a manicure, because here are some of the things that they neglect to tell you.


Nursing is really not natural and you are not a failure when your toes curl and you want to cry when your baby cries because she is hungry and you know what that means.  They say breast is best, but I say survival is far more important, and if formula gets you through the day, go for it.


How about thinking that your first outing away from your baby will be so freeing and exciting, and the moment you are away you miss them and can't wait to get back to that life you are complaining about.  Or worse yet, you look down and the circles on your shirt remind you that someone is waiting for you?


While you love this new person with all of your heart and soul, a colicky baby can make it easy to forget that in your sleep deprived state.  You are NORMAL if there are moments or even days you think to yourself, what the heck did I get myself in to?  Or worse yet, this little person isn't the easiest thing to love.


Everyone tells you when the next one comes along you will love it as much and you can't figure out how that is possible, until of course you meet them and then you can't figure out how life seemed complete without this addition.


When asked at my six week check up, what was I using for birth control I answered with no hesitation--Hatred.  At that point, I hated my husband--after all, he could leave and go to work, didn't have cracks in places no body ever should, and he got the same prize without his body going through crazy changes!  And at times I thought this lovely little person was out to get me--waking me up at all hours, always needing to eat and I was the restaurant of choice, spitting up, puking and peeing on me!! 


As much as you love this little person, you may at times mumble under your breath or maybe louder than you thought--names you would kill someone else for saying.  And as the hormones and pre-teen attitude come, you find yourself going back to some of those evil thoughts wondering who moved into your sweet child's body.


Nobody tells you how awkward "the talk" is going to be and you realize you are a rookie at this and just as uncomfortable as she is.  Mental note--if you have a dog, have this talk while walking the dog, you don't have to look at each other and there is a good distraction to ease the discomfort.


And while everyone tells you they grow up quickly, it sounds so cliché at the time, but damn they are right.  I remember being at the pool with my little ones, jealous of the moms that are able to just sit and read and now I am that mom, slightly jealous of the moms with the little ones in cute bikinis with a swim diaper hanging out and fat thighs with white marks where the sun doesn't even hit it.  


Ultimately, I have survived and enjoyed every stage of parenthood so far and look forward with anticipation and a bit of fear for what is next to come.  I have learned that the best resources to date have been moms ahead of me in the experience, gut instincts and trial and error.  Life is not cookie cutter and raising kids just doesn't fit in one mold, let alone the thousands of books out there with conflicting advice. Probably the best advice I have been given is also the simplest--go with your gut!! (Did I mention that over the years mine has also gotten bigger--giving me more to go with?)

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  • Great entry Lisa. You nailed it. No wonder Kelley loves you. Thanks for participating.

  • Thanks Ana! I really had a lot of fun doing this! I had a back up one if I get invited back. :)

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