What, Haven't You Ever Seen The Ass of a Pregnant Woman Before?

With those words, I announced to Scott that we were finally going to procreate. I am, and will always be, a class act (at least to my husband, and that is really all that matters).

This week of Mothers Day, the ladies of "Ay, Mama!" are dedicating our blogs to different facets of motherhood. I promised Scott not to dwell TOO long on our arduous road to parenthood, and I won't. I will tell you some, as I know people dealing with infertility and how our bodies seem to betray us when we just want them to do what they are meant to do, damnit.

It took us two years of 'not preventing' to get pregnant; a year of which was me trying in earnest. Books, advice, basal temperature readings, ovulation kits (which never worked on me), and cough syrup (I still swear by guaifenesin -also in Mucinex). 
I was determined to do this myself and not seek any additional fertility treatments. We felt, if it's going to happen, it will. Well, that can come off light and airy, but the frustration as each month passed, was not. I was with Scott for 9 years already. I had spent SO many months praying NOT to be pregnant that when I finally wanted to be, those prayers caught up with me.
When I did finally manage to have that positive pregnancy test result, I was like a mental patient. I cried. Laughed. Freaked out. Giggled. Then thought about how to perfectly tell my husband he was going to be a Dad. I mooned him (of course), and presented my now famous line of seeing a pregnant woman's ass. His response was hilarious: amused, then stunned. Before we could even start to process this life changing event, we had to run out to see Da Bears play the Vikings (I can tell you it was the first NFL game post 9/11, and poignantly patriotic, but I could not tell you one other thing that happened, I was in such a stupor).
We loved getting to tell our parents that they were going to be grandparents (again). They were as excited as we were, and so supportive. I loved the stories that were passed down from one generation to the next. I heard about their own quirks or cravings when they were pregnant. We compared weight gain, morning sickness, wether we wanted a boy or girl, how maternity clothes have changed (OMG, the things our mothers had to wear!), and when we felt that first 'flutter' of movement. 
When we had a scare, my Mom was my hero for talking me down. I was sure my placental previa diagnosis was WAY worse that it was (it wasn't-phew). While crying on the phone with her, she informed me that throughout generations in our family, once we do get pregnant, we keep those babies. She did, her sister did, her mom did, and my sister did. We keep those babies. It was the best thing to hear and I held onto that.
It reminded me of an archetype I read (you know, somewhere, once), about how, as a woman, you stand upon the shoulders of the women who came before you. We draw our inner strength and wisdom from prior generations (you know, ancestors). Now that we no longer live in villages and can sprawl across this world, this has suffered a bit. We may not have our aunts and grandparents next door anymore to pass down family lore, but we still continue their legacy. 
Cheers to all the Mothers, Grandmothers, and Moms-to-be out there. Celebrate YOU today. Wether you're a mother or not (yet?!). Whether your mom is still with us or no longer. Celebrate HER today. Stand proudly upon her shoulders and get ready to support your daughter (or granddaughter as the case may be-you know who you are).
Zoe, I am constantly preparing myself.


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  • So well said my friend. Have a great mother's day!

  • Oh, Kelley, the pregnant moon is the best!

  • Great entry! And so true!

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