The Delphin Baby House

Once our 15-day mandatory waiting period was up, Bill and I were finally able to file the paperwork to continue on with Dylan's adoption. We were assigned a pre-court trial for the following week to meet the judge and establish our official court date. In the meantime, we continued our regular visitation with Dylan at the Delphin baby house.

 

The Delphin was an impeccably clean, well-run modern structure that housed children from ages 0-4. It had such facilities as a sauna, pool, giant play room, music room, and a nurse's station open 24/7. Children were divided in group rooms according to age. Dylan's group room housed about 8 children and had 2 caregivers there at all times.The place was run with military precision. Everything was done on schedule and by the rule, and God forbid you try to bend the rules even a little bit.

 

For example, despite the fact that the government kept the buildings at an almost sweltering-hot temperature (see last Sunday's post), the children in the baby house were dressed in at least three layers at all times. On any given day, Dylan would be wearing a short-sleeved onesie, a long-sleeved shirt, a sweater, leggings, pants, and two pairs of socks covered by a thick woolen "shoe." There was at least one hat on his head even though we were indoors. If we so much as tried to undo one button, we would get a stern finger wag and a spew of Russian from the caregivers. Even though they obviously cared a great deal for the children, I was TERRIFIED of incurring their wrath!

 

I found it particularly interesting that the medical care they provided for the children consisted of a mixture of Western medicine and traditional Eastern practices. One day,
an adoptive mother expressed concern to me about some strange markings on her son's back. She lifted his little shirt to expose several bruises in perfect circular shape. I immediately recognized it as cupping, an ancient Chinese therapy in which glass cups are placed on the back and heated to create a vacuum. This is meant to suck out toxins from the body. I never would have known what it was had I not had it done earlier that year, and I never would have imagined it could be performed on babies!

 

Our visitation consisted of arriving at the baby house, getting Dylan from his group room,  heading to a designated visiting room, and playing there with him for the next 2 hours. Invariably, at the end of our session, Dylan would fall asleep in our arms and we would sneak in a 20-minute nap before waking him up and bringing him back to the group room for snack time. Once there, I would have to don an apron and tie a white handkerchief on my head in order to feed him his snack, which usually consisted of either bread or cookies soaked in warm milk.

 

After snack time, we got to put Dylan down for a nap. This was always a little bit heartbreaking, not only because it signified the end of our visit but because he would usually desperately cling to us and cry as we placed him in his crib. I cannot tell you how many times I felt tears stinging my eyes as he grabbed fistfuls of my hair and pulled my face closer to him in an attempt to get me to pick him up again. Oh, how I wanted to snatch him up and run out of the place with him in my arms!

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  • Wow! Very interesting entry. And your ending, wow! Very heartwrenching!

    Your detail provides great information for others also considering adoption. I know the process is different everywhere you go; my friends adopted a child from Ukraine, and their experience was different than yours. And I know another couple who had an open adoption here in the states, and their experience was different from yours and my friend, Debra's. However, it helps to prepare by reading the different perspectives before embarking on this very special journey. Thanks for sharing!

  • In reply to anitarudite:

    Thanks, Anita, I'm glad you found it informative! I, too, think first-hand perspectives were really the most helpful when we were getting ready to start our adoption journey. It really gives you a realistic view of the process.

  • In reply to anitarudite:

    It was definitely a huge practice of patience for us too. We were soooo ready to take Dylan home the very day we met him! Thanks for your comment, Kathi!

  • In reply to anitarudite:

    In a way, those days seem so far away and like they never happened, including my rush to the computer first thing every day to see what you had written about Dylan.

    In a way, it seems like things have always been like they are at your happy home now--Dylan, running around laughing, squealing and talking nonstop; Aimee trying to take food from him; his good buddies coming to your house; swim lessons; going to school; and now sleeping in his big boy bed.

    Dylan is growing so fast. Before we know it, he will start that uphill journey into kindergarten, and then, off to college in the blink of an eye. Enjoy! It is all over too soon.

  • In reply to anitarudite:

    I agree, Emma, it really feels like Dylan has been with us forever and the time in Kaz was just a dream. He just BELONGS with us--and us with him--so completely. I can hardly imagine what life was like before we met him!

    Don't even talk about kindergarten and college, I'm already stressing about him going to preschool 2 1/2 hrs. a day this year! :-)

  • In reply to anitarudite:

    Hola, Khadine, aqui para felicitarte otra vez por el atual capitulo de la novela de tu vida. Esperamos mas.

  • In reply to Valmir:

    Gracias! Me alegro que te haya gustado!

  • In reply to anitarudite:

    Khadine, cada vez compruebo mas que Dylan estaba esperando por Uds,pues en tus relatos explicas como el se abrio a Uds com ese amor y esa quimica.

  • In reply to Valmir:

    Gracias! Definitivaments fuimos hechos los unos para los otros!

  • In reply to Valmir:

    khadine,DYLAN estaba esperando por ustedes y ustedes por EL.estoy super emocionada con esa historia que ya quiero que llegue el domingo para leer la proxima.

  • In reply to Valmir:

    Gracias! Me alegro que te este gustando! :-)

  • As I read today's entry, Khadine, I am again brought directly back to when you were actually going through these days, experiences, emotions, etc. Your family & friends were so excited for all 3 of you. For me, it was also a huge practice of patience...in accepting the time this process took, some of the "rules" of the Baby House, & just wanting you all back home safely & not so far away. Just an incredible and important Life Lesson & story of a Family's Beginning.

    Aunt Kathi

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