Getting over him

Dear Mel,

It's me again, the one who wrote to you last week about the guy I had real feelings for. Well, I told him how I felt. We were both wrong - he doesn't feel that way about me anymore. After years and years of him pining over me, I never thought that this would happen. It hurts so bad to be rejected like this, by him. It's not like I can simply change my mind and decide to stop feeling these things for him. I don't know what to do because being around him makes me upset. But we're in the same group of friends... so do I have to lose them, too? He told me time heals and I'll get over this eventually, but I truly don't think I can. This sucks. A lot. How can I get over him?

-Crushed, literally

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photo courtesy of suez92

Dear Crushed, literally,

Oh, no! Oh no oh no oh no. I'm so sorry! I was wrong. However, I'm glad you decided to tell him the truth. Holding it in would probably hurt even more in the long wrong. This is a really sucky situation, but, have no fear: He's right, time does heal everything.

You'll definitely be upset for a while. It could be days, weeks, or hey, even months. Let it out. Cry into your pillow or write about how you feel. But before you know it, the stinging feeling will fade away and you will begin to feel like yourself again. 

In the meantime, throw yourself into your schoolwork. Doing so will not only help you to stop thinking about him, it will help you get good grades. Keep yourself busy and try not to lament. When you start to feel bad, put on your running shoes and hit the streets. That's something that always makes me feel better, no matter how far I've fallen. Do your best to move on with your life, because although it hurts right now, there are other people out there that may be better for you than he is. 

If you can, try to spend time with your friends when he is there. The first few times it will probably be hard. However, in time, you'll get used to being around him. This shows him that you're strong and you don't need him to be happy.

Which brings me to my last point... you don't need a guy to be happy. So do what you like to do, think positively, and before you know it you'll be over him.

-Mel

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