Crushed (like an empty soda can)

Dear Mel,

So there's this guy. He's my age and we've known each other since we were really little. For years, he liked me. A lot. But I only saw him as one of my best friends. Everything ended when I screwed up and rejected him six months ago. I hurt him and he cut me out of his life. I had been "friend-dumped". This was the hardest thing that had ever happened to me. I was constantly upset, constantly wishing I could un-do it all. So for six months we were not friends. But this summer we went on a mission trip together and ended up working things out on the last night. We decided on a 50-50 relationship. We talked for three hours or so, and the whole time I wanted to tell him I was in love with him. Because, well, I was. I figured that out weeks, possibly months, before the trip. But I was too scared to do it. (I regret that so much!) Anyways, I went on vacation for a week after the trip and had some time to think. I realized that yes, I did love him... and I did want to date him. I couldn't wait to tell him. He'd been texting me while I was gone, which I took as a good sign. I came home and he seemed happy to see me. He even came over and hung out with just me for a little... something he never would have done in the past. 

Things were good two weeks ago. However, I'm beginning to feel like he doesn't feel the same way about me anymore. His texts are short and whenever he talks to me, he sounds annoyed and uninterested. This is tearing me apart inside because all I want is to have him in my life. Is he just playing games with me? Or am I just paranoid? He is flirty with all the other girls... except for me. What does this mean? Am I doing something wrong? I need to tell him those three little words soon or else I'm afraid it might be too late. 

Help!

-Falling Hard

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photo courtesy of Nina Matthews Photography

Dear Falling Hard,

Woahhhh... this sounds like that one book with the baby chick on the cover. Flipped, anyone? 

But this is a bit more dramatic than Flipped. 

Okay, first of all, he definitely still has some feelings for you. He might not be head over heels in love, but trust me: when a guy likes a girl for years and years, he never completely stops. 

I don't think he's playing games with you, either. That just wouldn't be cool. After everything you guys have been through, playing games is out of the question.

And as for the flirting with other girls thing, think about it if it were you - If you really liked a guy, would you openly flirt with him in front of everyone? Heck no. You would be playful with every other guy there. I'm sure that why your guy is acting like this.

I have a few theories as to why he's acting weird towards you now. First, he may be scared. Is it possible that he already knows how you feel about him? After liking you for so long, this news will scare the crap out of him. In a good way, I guess. Or he might be sending you a message to act fast. Maybe he doesn't want to make the first move, so he's waiting for you to say something. Something along the lines of, "I'm in love with you". Of course, there's always the slim chance that he hates your guts and wants nothing to do with you... but I highly doubt that is the case.

I'm so happy for you. From what I've heard, nothing is better than loving somebody else. So be bold and say what you need to say. Or else you'll regret it forever.

-Mel

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