Dear Mel,
I'm a 15 year old girl in my sophomore year of high school. Recently, my best friend turned 15. Her family is from Spain so they held Quincenera for her, a ceremony commonly held in Spanish speaking countries for a girl's 15th birthday. I was invited to be in her 'court', a very important part of the ceremony. Just before the Quincenera, after we had gone and picked out gowns together, which cost over 200 dollars, taken dancing lessons, and found escorts, she told me I could no longer attend because the Quincenera was just for family members. I was upset about this, but kept my feelings quiet. I didn't want to upset her before her big day. Later, after the celebration, I was on a social networking site, when I saw that our classmates had gone to the ceremony, and one girl she knew only through a sports team had taken my place in the court! I am deeply hurt, my heart is broken, I thought she was my best friend. Should I confront her about this situation? How should I talk to her about this, if at all? I am so greatly disturbed by this, I don't know if I can ever forgive her for lying to me! I've lost sleep over this and my grades have slipped, just because I'm trying to figure out what I've done that was so rotten she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore! I've tried to be the most loyal friend possible over the years, putting her own happiness before mine at times!
-BrokenHearted
Dear BrokenHearted,
Pardon my French, but what a bitch!
Seriously! You spent all this money, got excited about the party, learned to dance and more, and then she just pulls the rug out from under you. What she did was downright cruel. A true friend would never do that to you, no matter what her excuse is. This is not okay. And you need to do something about it.
First, accept the fact that this girl is no longer your best friend. Un-friend her. She deserves it.
Then, make your feelings known. Talk to her and ask her why she did what she did. Make sure she knows just how much she hurt you. This conversation will probably start off calm and rational, but don't be surprised if it escalates into a yelling and screaming match. Stand your ground. Stick up for yourself.
I understand that you're extremely distraught over this, but eventually, you need to simply accept the fact that this girl was never your best friend. It was her fault. Not yours. Put yourself back on the Friend Market. You need some new ones.
Oh, and one more thing. Just because you forgive her doesn't mean you want to be her friend again. It's up to you whether you want to forgive her or not.
-Mel
That is terrible!!! God i feel so bad for this girl.
mel great advise, especially the part about forgiveness!
It's really sad that her and her family spent time and money on dancing and a dress and stuff only to have her friend be mean. I hope she finds better friends to hang with....
Speaking of which, maybe stuff like this is the reason the word "unfriend" was added to the oxford english dictionary this year.