I started running this week. For those that know me, you know how adamant I am in my belief that running is a punishment sent up from Satan because we invented tighty whities. I hate running, and I always have.
However, my friend Carmel recommended I try the C25K program. The program promises that by following its app, I will go from a "couch potato to 5k runner". Since I'm all into this health crap now, I figured why not try it. Maybe, just maybe, I will develop a love for running.
Today marked the 3rd day that I have been a beginning runner. To be honest, it sucks, but not as bad as I thought it would. To me, the worst part of running are the crazy thoughts that take over my brain during my run.
One morning all I could think about was the fact that if CVS stands for Consumer Value Stores or Customer, Value, and Service (the company claims both), why are their prices so expensive? Do they not understand the definition of a good value? I drafted an entire letter in my head to the head of CVS during my run. Unfortunately (or fortunately), the minute the treadmill stopped, I forgot the letter.
Other thoughts that have bothered me during my runs this week include whether or not I am going to die while running. I am pretty sure I am allergic to running, and that it may kill me.
I say this because every time I run, I turn red and start sweating. People say this is good for you if you are running, but I am taking a wait and see approach before I decide if running is trying to kill me.
This morning's run almost did kill me when I couldn't decide what the little clip thing on a string was on the treadmill. Not being that familiar with athletic equipment, it was really bothering me what this could be used for.
At first, I thought it was something to do with headphones. Then, I figured it was a way to hold my bag. Neither of these theories held up though upon my inspect of the size and length of the clip on its cord.
Finally, I couldn't resist anymore. In the middle of my run, I pulled it.
For those that do not know, that little clip is an emergency stop.
Do you know what happens when you go from running to a dead stop in a split second?
It's not pretty.
Actually, to be honest, you don't stop yourself, just the machine stops. You continue running yourself into the front of the machine at full speed.
It is very embarassing.
It throws you off your game the rest of your workout.
It also further proves that running is trying to kill me, and therefore, I continue to hate running.