In continuing Say No To Small Dose Friends February, today I will focus on making and keeping friends. Though it would be childish to take a pen to paper and review every friend you have, everybody has those friends that are obviously not a good fit for them.
I am going to give you two lists of friends. One is a list of those to avoid, and one is a list of those to keep. Though this list is not an end-all of lists, it can be used for those friends you are unsure about.
List #1 - Not everyone is a good friend, make an effort to avoid the following types of friends:
- Those that take advantage of you or only contact you if they need something,
- The ones that are always negative,
- One that would never admit they made a mistake, and/or
- Ones that show no emotion - because normally it could signal that they have a heart of stone.
List #2 - Everyone needs a good friend, here is a list of friends that you should attempt to make:
- Make friends with those that want to be around you and that you want to be around,
- Find someone who you know you can trust and who shares things with you (if you are the only one sharing, it is a one sided friendship),
- Find a friend that you know would be there if you really needed them,
- Make sure to have at least one friend who shares the same goals and inspirations as you do (this will help keep you motivated in life), and/or
- Most importantly, make sure your friends have your back by being supportive of you (make sure you return the favor also).
Though these may sound like simple rules, I see so many people hanging out with other people who do nothing but bring them down. Just because you want to do something and your friend does not, they do not have the right to berate you for doing what you want. If you happen to have a friend that always thinks what you do is stupid or childish, then maybe it is time you inform that friend that your personalities just do not match. Now of course, they can always offer constructive criticism; however, they should never actually verbally attack you.
For me, one way to end a friendship with me is to call me or something I want to do "stupid." I hate that word. It is so disrespectful, and anyone that can call a friend "stupid" is no friend of mine. Of course, I am referring to using it in a serious tone, and not a joking one.
Anyway, as we enter the final week of Say No To Small Does Friends February, take a moment and evaluate your friendships. Do you have that one friend that you are on the fence with? Do you have that one friend that you keep putting off? If you answered yes, then maybe it is time to evaluate those connections. Maybe you would best be suited to be Facebook friends only with that person. If you are unsure, take a pen to paper and see if they fall in the "avoid" or "keep" lists above.
Next time we visit this topic, we will talk about how to end a friendship honestly!