An open letter to Chicago Bear Jay Cutler!

Dear Jay,

I am so sorry to hear that you have hurt your thumb in football. This is absolutely tragic. The Bears were having such a wonderful season. I believe that part of that accomplishment is because of you, and part of it is because I now live in the area and they are just absorbing my awesomeness.

However, you are possibly out of the game for next few months. You are going to have people trying to talk you into playing regardless of your sore thumb. These people only care about you as a football player, and not for the sexy human being that you are. I am not one of those people though.

I think you should rest and relax. As a Life Enrichment Coordinator, you can come stay with me! I have experience in helping people who need help. I will nurse you back to health.

We will sit around and watch TV, play dress up, and then have bath time. No need to worry about lifting a finger. You save your strength until you get back on the field.

I already asked my boss, and she said you could come to work with me when you were feeling like it. Just let me know, okay!




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  • You are soooo thoughtful & caring..:)

  • I love the play dress up part. This is a fantastic idea!

  • See, if I wrote a similar open letter to Erin Andrews after she, god forbid, broke her thumb and can no longer hold a microphone (or other things shaped like microphones), I will undoubtedly be crucified by women on here.

    So be grateful being gay David, I do get jealous sometimes (just not in that way).

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    David W. Quinn

    Former fatty. Wannabe health nut. Writer, photographer, fabulous homosexual. Trying to live a better life. Join me on my journey!

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