Before we get to Friday's Stache Bash, hairy-lipped Americans will gather in Chicago's Wicker Park neighborhood to protest the unjust ranking of mustached citizens. Members of the American Mustache Institute, the band The Flavor Savers, and other mustached Americans will march to promote the advancement of mustached Chicagoans. The march kicks off at 6:00 p.m., Thursday, October 27, 2011, at the corner of Milwaukee and North Avenue.
The press release for the event states that:
"(The march) occurs as Mustached Americans from across the U.S. and Delaware descend upon Chicago for the American Mustache Institute's ‘Stache Bash 2011 on Oct. 28 at Joe's Bar, a charitable benefit kicking off the Movember moustache growing campaign raising funds and awareness for The Prostate Cancer Foundation and LIVESTRONG.
"It's an atrocity that just two of the 25 highest paid CEOs are Mustached Americans and it's time our voices were heard and mustaches fully savored," said Kissimmee, Fla.-firefighter Brian Sheets, the reigning Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year. "What better place to do it than Wicker Park, where Mustached American hipsters run wild in their scarves and skinny jeans?"'
I stand with the the American Mustache Institute. We must end this unfair advantage of sweatherless-lipped people.
Of course, all of this is in preparation for Stache Bash this Friday at Joe's Bar on Weed Street in Chicago.
For more information, call 877-STACHE-1.