How faux leather caused my first archnemesis in Chicago!

How faux leather caused my first archnemesis in Chicago!

I had only lived in Chicagoland for a month and a day when my first real blizzard hit. It was one of the biggest snows in the area's history, and I loved it. It was so much fun to see so much snow. I was also impressed at how fast they got the streets clear. However, one thing the blizzard gave me that I was not expecting was my first archnemesis in Chicagoland.

It all happened while Kyle and I were building a super awesome snowman. Blizzy, as he was known, was fabulous. However, during Blizzy's short life, he revealed my first archnemesis.

Kyle and I had just finished Blizzy when we were trying to dress him in appropriate gear. This gentleman, or what I thought was a gentleman, came walking by. He was dressed okay, but he had on a hideous faux leather jacket. So, I asked him if I could use his jacket to put it on the snowman.

Not only did Mr. No Gentleman say "No", he also gave me the most judgmental look ever. It was at that moment I knew I had met my first archenemeis in my new neighborhood. I tried to explain to him that Blizzy was cold, and that the fake leather jacket would look super cute on him. Regardless though of what I pleaded, the man paid me no attention and kept walking.

After he walked away and into his residence, I realized he lived directly across the way from me. So, I now see my archnemesis every day. For 9 months now, I am faced with being neighborly to a man who judged me so harshly.

Oh, I make him think everything is okay. I say hi. I wave. I do all the things "neighbors" do. However, I am just planning my attack.

When I build a snowman this winter, I am going to build it right at his door. However, until then, I will wait. I will wait to bury his entire car in snow. I will wait to surround him by a line of snowman carrying picket signs that say things like "do not wear faux leather," "give a hoot, don't pollute," and other sayings.

When it comes to archnemesis', it is all about the element of surprise. However, until I get my revenge, I will continue playing the friendly neighbor card.

 

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  • Revenge is a dish best served cold..hahahaha :)

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    David W. Quinn

    Former fatty. Wannabe health nut. Writer, photographer, fabulous homosexual. Trying to live a better life. Join me on my journey!

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