The whore is moving...

I am so sad today. When I first moved to Chicagoland, I noticed that I had a very, shall I say, active neighbor. He was friendly; but maybe a little too friendly.

At all hours of the day and night, he had a constant line of men in and out of his apartment. They would arrive completely dressed, but leave looking like they just crawled out of bed. Most men only stayed for 20 or so minutes, and very, very few ever repeated.

I remember once back when I smoked, that I stayed outside smoking and playing on my phone for hours. During the course of an evening, he had about 5 guys that all stayed for about 20 minutes.

They would knock on his door, run in, and be back out very quickly. So, I gathered that he was either VERY good, or they were VERY fast. Either way, it helped him get his numbers up there pretty quickly.

For a while, I debated on whether he was actually a whore or a drug dealer. I gave up on drug dealer though when I realized he only had a handful of repeat "customers". So, either he had bad drugs, or he was not a drug dealer.

Regardless though, he recently started talking to me. Nothing much, but he did make polite speak. We never exchanged more than a couple of words or "how-to-do's". I guess maybe he either respected the fact I was in a relationship or I was not his type. I mean he only slept with men from 18 to 80, 100 to 300 pounds, and included every body type and racial profile there was. However, maybe, just maybe, he drew the line at flirting with a 32 year old hairy white man. I mean for goodness sake would it have hurt him to at least wink my way. The dude slept with almost everyone else. Kyle and I could not even get a wink. Stupid whore. Anyway, moving on..

He did inform us a few weeks ago that he was moving away. This makes me sad for two reasons.

Reason #1: He gave me a topic of conversation to talk about with the other neighbors.

Reason #2: He would occasionally bring awesome eye candy to the complex. I'm assuming with him gone, the tricks will stop coming around. Maybe the tricks are like cats and they are just waiting for the next guy to move in and set out a bowl of milk for them to feed on. If I see a bunch of stray guys running around the neighborhood, I'm taking pictures, then calling the police.

Anyway, I will miss the whore. He was my first friend in the complex that I never spoke to. I called him my imaginary friend.

He did get me a gift though. The gift of being nosy. I loved watching all the guys go in his apartment and then walk out doing the walk-of-shame on their way to the car. You could see it on some of their faces also. It was hilarious.

I will miss all those special times we shared that he did not know we shared.

I hope we get another whore next. Of course, we will probably get some upstanding citizen who works, goes to college, and isn't a slut.

Figures.

Comments

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  • No, you will probably get a drug dealer with just as much traffic, but the people don't stay nearly as long.

  • Well Im not a slut , neither is my girlfriend. LOL. We might know some eye candy though. We are both hard working people, who like animals, BBQin, and meeting my new neighbors. Howdy neighbor. :)

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