We were able to get a look at the pre-nuptial contract between Prince William and Kate Middleton. There were some surprise clauses!
- He may never refer to her as "common" and she may not refer to him as "in-bred"
- By mutual agreement, any offspring will be raised both "hoity" AND "toity"
- After two years of marriage, Kate will be allowed to visit Hogwarts
- Prince Charles will be denied the right of Prima Nocta
- In the event of divorce, William receives sole custody of England and Kate receives sole custody of Great Britain
- Any offspring will be given fluoride daily and fitted with oral braces as soon as humanly possible
- Prince William is forbidden from wearing his hilarious Nazi costume in public
- In the event of either signatory's untimely demise, Sir Elton John is prohibited from re-using a previously published song and is required to compose a wholly new tribute song
- In keeping with royal tradition, any offspring will not be required to obtain or maintain any skills whatsoever
- At precisely 11am (London time), April 27, 2011, both Facebook accounts will change relationship statuses to "Married"
- Kate agrees with William (without sarcasm) that "Game of Thrones" is a documentary
- Prince William Mountbatten-Windsor, heir to the throne of the United Kingdom is also rightwise Lord of the TiVo remote.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Tags: Game of Thrones, Kate Middleton, London, Prince William, royal wedding
