The key to being a successful psychic - make hundreds of predictions, including vague ones that could mean just about anything. If one comes true attach it to your resume and impress those who are easily impressed.
Anticipation based on reliable statistics and trends is smart. Predictions based on auras, planetary alignments, fortune cookies, ghosts, and groundhogs are foolish, but may contain an entertainment value. I encourage everyone to make New Year’s predictions.
2014 predictions include:
• The world will not end.
• Boring will be the new cool.
• There will be big trouble in the Middle East and Africa.
• Religious groups will attempt to minimize and demonize the growing atheist population.
• The Chicago Cubs will not win the World Series.
• Neil deGrasse Tyson will continue to be awesome.
• There will be a rise of the Muslim Sisterhood.
• A famous movie actor whose name begins with a letter will die.
• God will receive credit for anything good that happens while avoiding blame for anything bad.
• Both dependence and ignorance of science and technology will increase globally.
• Bill O’Reilly will convert to Scientology.
• Sweden and Canada will seek world domination.
• Vladimir Putin will come out of the closet.
• Weather will be mild.
• Sylvester Stallone will star in an action movie.
• Oblivious incompetence will continue to be as dangerous as bad intent.
• North Korea leader Kim Jong-un will order himself assassinated.
• Lebron James will win another title and stay with the Heat.
-James Kirk Wall
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