Ten crazy conversations with Christians

Over the course of many years and many debates, I’ve come across rationale beyond bizarre and fallacious arguments too numerous to mention when attempting to reason with god worshipers. Here are a few crazy conversations that come up repeatedly.

Christian – There are no contradictions in the Bible.
JKW – Thou shall not kill, now go kill the Midianites
Christian – That is not a contradiction.

Christian – I don’t believe in evolution. There aren’t enough transitional fossils. Show me the evidence! I will not believe in anything without evidence!
JKW – How do you think humans came to be?
Christian – God blew into dirt and made Eve out of a rib.

Christian – God in his mercy saved Noah and his family.
JKW – But he drowned everyone else.
Christian – That’s because they had free will.

JKW – Is it true that Canaan was made a slave because his dad saw Noah’s naughty bits and didn’t cover them up?
Christian – That was totally taken out of context!
JKW – But isn’t that what happened?
Christian – Yes, but that was totally taken out of context!

JKW – It’s great that Catholics have embraced the reality of evolution, but doesn’t that mean the Book of Genesis isn’t true?
Catholic – The Book of Genesis, like the story of Noah’s Ark, is a parable, not something to be taken seriously. We Catholics love science and reason.
JKW – So why not edit the Bible and correct or remove the things that don’t make sense?
Catholic – We can’t do that. Everything that was written was guided by the Holy Ghost.

JKW – If you were born in a different part of the world or a different time, you would very likely have a different religion.
Christian – Yes
JKW – Doesn’t that cause an integrity issues with your beliefs versus everyone else’s?
Christian – No

Christian – With everything that’s happening, I think Jesus will be coming back soon.
JKW – Haven’t people been saying that for 2,000 years?
Christian – Yes, but today things are really bad.
JKW – Haven’t people been saying that for 2,000 years?

JKW – So Christianity is a religion of love and forgiveness?
Christian – Yes
JKW – So what happens to everyone who isn’t a Christian?
Christian – They burn in hell for all eternity.

JKW – So Jesus was god’s only begotten son?
Christian – Yes
JKW – How come he didn’t have more children?
Christian – We are all gods’ children.

Christian – God cured my uncle George of cancer.
JKW – But your aunt Ruth died of cancer. Why didn’t he cure her?
Christian – God works in mysterious ways.

James Kirk Wall

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