27 Definitions of Atheist


1. Atheist – No belief in god

2. Atheist – Lack of belief in god

3. Atheist – We don’t know how the universe began, but we’re really sure it wasn’t that guy

4. Atheist – Far more interested in glorifying life than glorifying death.

5. Atheist – At a certain age belief in Santa is cute. At a certain age it’s not.

6. Atheist – Do you believe in Zeus? That’s how we feel about your god.

7. Atheist – Don’t believe in any gods but your own? We simply take it one religion further.

8. Atheist – Because god sending himself to be sacrificed to himself in order to save us from himself (but only if you believe it) seems a bit irrational.

9. Atheist – We don’t hang garlic on our doors just in case vampires are real.

10. Atheist – Because evolution is a successful scientific theory while creationism is a failed hypothesis advocated by idiots and frauds.

11. Atheist – A belief that jealous men creating a jealous god is the more likely scenario.

12. Atheist – The arrogant belief that the universe wasn’t created especially for us, or that we have a personal relationship with an all-powerful being who occasionally grants us favoritism.

13. Atheist – Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. (Sagan)

14. Atheist – That which can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence. (Hitchens)

15. Atheist – Integrity in thought is worth more than blindness in obedience.

16. Atheist – When strength of character dictates that the rejection of a morally repulsive myth isn’t a choice, but a necessity.

17. Atheist – Rather than pick and choose in a crappy cafeteria, we find a better restaurant, and another, and another, and another.

18. Atheist – There has never been a word of god. Only words of men claiming to speak for god. And that’s a big difference.

19. Atheist – “We don’t know” has never meant, and will never mean, it was magic. Ignorance proves nothing.

20. Atheist – Immoral because we don’t faithfully subscribe to a book that condones slavery and murder or believe that everyone else will be burned forever. But we still love you.

21. Atheist – In realizing that we made a mistake in making gods, we drowned them.

22. Atheist – The tide goes in, the tide goes out, we can explain that. That would be the gravitational pull of the moon, and to a smaller extent, the pull of the sun. Google it!

23. Atheist – Science represents an advancing knowledge of the universe while god represents a retreating ignorance.

24. Atheist – Every supernatural monster winds up being some jerk in a mask.

25. Atheist – Pay attention to the man behind the curtain

26. Atheist Humanist – We rape and kill everyone we want, which is no one.

27. Atheist Humanist – Be good for goodness sake. That’s all you need my friend.

Note - Some of these definitions were inspired if not directly quoted by:
Ricky Gervais
Richard Dawkins
Carl Sagan
Christopher Hitchens
Bill Maher
Bill O'Reilly
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Scooby Doo
Wizard of Oz
Penn Jillette
Santa Claus
And some unknown or forgotten sources

-James Kirk Wall

Please like my Facebook page at:
James Kirk Wall

To subscribe to this author, type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. This list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Leave a comment