Even if I were an optimist, I'd be a cockeyed one if I thought that even 5% of America actually perused the Mueller Report. I confess, I didn't.
And, frankly, I'd be astonished if the ratings of Wednesday's televised Mueller-time testimony will exceed the testimony of that day's Judge Judy telecast. Will there be more than , say, 10% of Fox News knuckle-scraping, slack-jawed fatsos in the viewing audience for the hearings? Fat chance.
So how do we seduce Fox fiends and indifferent voters to digest the complete report? Shower them with a form of entertainment they ceaselessly adore, viz. Impressions!
Consider this: There must be a couple of dozen actors, comics, newscasters, etc. who do impressions --from mediocre to brilliant--of his nibs, Donald Trump.
So here's my scheme. A cable channel--say HBO--produces a one-night show entitled "Who Does the Best Impression of Donald Trump?" and makes it interactive by asking the viewing audience to vote for the performance they judge to surpass all the others. As an enticing voting (hence viewing) incentive, there be a one million dollar prize awarded to a voter via random drawing.
Now here's the catch. Without announcing it in advance, the dozen or so contestants will take turns reading --from top to bottom--the entire Mueller Report.
There's no way you can dispute that Alec Baldwin and many other like-minded progressive performers wouldn't eagerly volunteer to appear--pro bono.
Bottom line: By show's end, a record audience will have learned the contents of the Mueller Report. As a huge bonus, through repeats and social media exposure, millions of others will have also soaked in the contents.
Figure it this way. This stratagem would act a counterattack against the inevitable Kremlin offensive leading up to the 2020 presidential election.
Or at least that's my impression.