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Posts tagged "Senate"

Rod Blagojevich Just Wanted to Hunt Bin Laden

In the off chance you were looking for an explanation as to why Rod Blagojevich orchestrated a months-long expedition to determine the cost of appointing himself to Barack Obama’s Senate seat, well, it’s only because he wanted to serve his country by traveling to Afghanistan and hunting down Osama bin Laden. Rod Blagojevich tells jurors... Read more »
By emzanotti,
June 3, 2011 at 11:06 am
• 4 comments

Harry Reid's Stupidity Spells End for DADT

What do you do when you have a bill, enough Senators in negotiations to send the “yes” votes right to the 60 you’d need to pass it and every gay rights activist in the country holding a bottle of the most expensive champagne you can find? Well, if you’re Harry Reid, you dash their hopes... Read more »
By emzanotti,
December 9, 2010 at 5:08 pm
• 1 comment

Sh*t You Missed While I Was On Turkey Vacation

Thanksgiving Glitter GraphicsPeople who don’t get paid to do this shouldn’t have to work holidays. I love you all, but I don’t love you enough to bring you breaking news about Gery Chico in the middle of an epic Thanksgiving dinner, though, to be fair, I did have to travel to Detroit. Now that it’s... Read more »
By emzanotti,
November 29, 2010 at 11:53 am
• 1 comment
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Mike Madigan Takes Swipe At Pat Quinn Over Taxes

This is clearly opposite day. In an interview, I asked Mr. Madigan if he agrees that Mr. Quinn has “a mandate” to boost taxes, since Mr. Quinn proposed that during the campaign and won, and GOP challenger Bill Brady opposed it and lost. Mr. Madigan replied that talk of a mandate is overblown. “If (the... Read more »
By emzanotti,
November 9, 2010 at 4:10 pm
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Dems To Make Trouble For Mark Kirk?

Weirdly, it seems that Illinois’ official process for certifying the Senator-elect will prevent Mark Kirk from taking his seat in Washington until well after the lame duck session has started. I could be outrageously outraged with outrage on this particular subject, but if you didn’t expect some monkey business was in store for the Republican... Read more »
By emzanotti,
November 8, 2010 at 1:12 pm
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It's Morning In America, Bitches.

Or afternoon. Whatever. I don’t even care. Actually, I sort of do, but I am as hungover as you can possibly be without consuming any alcohol. I even sound like Judy Baar Topinka. Go figure. Personally, I’m still digesting what happened last night, and what continues to happen in the hallowed halls of Brady HQ... Read more »
By emzanotti,
November 3, 2010 at 4:19 pm
• 2 comments
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24 Hours Until The Polls Close And Other Stories

All of the candidates are busy puddle-jumping across the state of Illinois, hoping to win your vote between in-flight meals. Bill Brady and Pat Quinn are desperate to show you they happen to be different. Everyone else is hoping you’re too drunk to notice you voted for them. At this point, they and I have... Read more »
By emzanotti,
November 1, 2010 at 7:59 pm
• 1 comment

Headed Into The Home Stretch: A Roundup With Charts!

I’ve missed a lot of stuff this weekend while I’ve been trying to convince the greater Chicagoland area that yes, indeed, I closely resemble Tina Fey and yes, I would like people to buy me drinks as a reward. It started out as Snooki, but I couldn’t bring myself to admit that I actually own... Read more »
By emzanotti,
October 31, 2010 at 8:16 pm
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Is This What Mark Kirk Was Talking About?

Mark Kirk is getting his ass kicked over comments that he made alluding to a vote fraud-prevention operation that he and the ILGOP are spearheading on the South Side of Chicago – an operation which will involve, among other terrifying things, “lawyers and other people.” The Republican National Lawyers Association may be involved as well... Read more »
By emzanotti,
October 14, 2010 at 6:43 pm
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Alexi Giannoulias: Stupid Is the Best Case Scenario

It’s no secret that I like Mark Kirk and I may or may not have helped him and his fantastic head of hair and incredibly well tailored suits out once or twice over the last few months, but what I’m about to show you has absolutely nothing to do with how awesome I think Mark... Read more »
By emzanotti,
October 11, 2010 at 1:22 pm
• 1 comment