Tag: Bristol Palin

Bristol and The Situation and Something About Sex

I don’t know if I learned anything from this video except: (1) Damn, that’s really awkward and (2) I suspect that the Situation cannot actually memorize lines, which explains why everything he says revolves, in some way, around the words “The Situation.” (3) I don’t know for sure, but I think the Magnums are wishful... Read more »

A Dancing With the Stars Public Service Political Announcement

Attention Palin voters who are f***ing with my show: Look, I get it. Bristol Palin is the only Palin you can currently vote for, and, to some, booting her off the show prior to her sell-by date would have seemed like a vast left-wing conspiracy to hinder the entire Palin family regardless of political weight.... Read more »

It's Morning In America, Bitches.

Or afternoon. Whatever. I don’t even care. Actually, I sort of do, but I am as hungover as you can possibly be without consuming any alcohol. I even sound like Judy Baar Topinka. Go figure. Personally, I’m still digesting what happened last night, and what continues to happen in the hallowed halls of Brady HQ.... Read more »

Levi Johnson Reaches Pinnacle of His Career

Now that Bristol Palin has taken the upper hand with mediocre ballroom dancing (you know she’s mediocre, okay? If you’re a fan of Dancing With the Stars, you know it), Levi Johnston clearly feels he needs to reach new plateaus in his burgeoning fall from fame. This would, of course, explain why he is making... Read more »

Sarah Palin Is Exactly Like Your Mom

There’s been much consternation over whether Sarah Palin was booed during her appearance on Dancing With the Stars last night. I can’t officially tell you one way or another whether the audience’s vocal displeasure was directed at the Mama Grizzly, the judges’ cruel, cruel scoring of Jennifer Grey’s remarkable comeback, or Brook Burke’s ridiculous clear... Read more »

Bristol Palin to Dance With the Stars

You know, I always love a happy ending. Bristol Pain may have ended up single with her boyfriend and baby-daddy somewhere in LA apologizing for apologizing to her mother and faking an engagement and reconciliation while scoring some sort of reality television program, but she’s not staying down. Nope. She’s back in the saddle with... Read more »

Bristol and Levi Call It Quits But Is It Over?

As if no one saw this coming: Levi Johnston is such a publicity whore that he lured Bristol Palin into a romance rekindle in order to get his name back into the papers, then revealed that he may have knocked up some other chick and had every intention of moving to Los Angeles to begin... Read more »

Bristol & Levi Get $100K, But No Reality Show

They may have ruined People magazine’s exclusive, but they came out ahead: Bristol and Levi got a hefty paycheck from Us Weekly for their family portraits and the news that they’re headed to the altar despite all common sense to the contrary. Money certainly talks. Our sources estimate Us Weekly paid $100,000 to Bristol Palin... Read more »

Bristol Palin & Levi Johnston Engaged?!

There are rare moments that I agree with Sarah Palin completely, but the release of this US Weekly exclusive is one of them. I have a bad feeling about this. Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston say they’re engaged and hope to get married within six weeks in Alaska. Palin, the daughter of 2008 vice-presidential candidate... Read more »

Levi Johnston Apologizes, Gets Back Together With Bristol Palin

So Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin look to be back together, if you believe the news reports, and the extended Facebook fight she’s been having with Levi’s sister Mercede (no “s,” the Johnston family is apparently fond of naming their children after national brands, but leaving off the plural). Apparently, someone took a picture of... Read more »