Posts tagged "Blago Trial"

Rod Blagojevich Just Wanted to Hunt Bin Laden

In the off chance you were looking for an explanation as to why Rod Blagojevich orchestrated a months-long expedition to determine the cost of appointing himself to Barack Obama’s Senate seat, well, it’s only because he wanted to serve his country by traveling to Afghanistan and hunting down Osama bin Laden. Rod Blagojevich tells jurors... Read more »

Rod Blagojevich In Real Trouble This Time

First, his lawyers dropped out because hell if they were going to get paid the salary of a lowly public defender. Then, that whole Jesse Jackson Jr. thing reared it’s ugly head. Now, his best old-buddy, old-pal Tony Rezko, fresh off a Friday guilty plea on a new fraud charge says he’d be more than... Read more »

Is Patty Blagojevich Next?

I have a few theories about the Rod Blagojevich trial. I’m not willing to place money on these or anything, but I am willing to get up at 4am on Monday to check out closing arguments in the hopes that I can get Rod to sign something really important to me. So here goes, my... Read more »

Blago: Michelle Obama Versus Patti?

Let me put it this way: if I had to fight either Michelle Obama or Patti Blagojevich, I have no idea which one I would choose. Both of them, honestly, could kick my ass halfway to Sunday. Michelle Obama’s got those huge arms that could crush my head like a walnut and Patti’s scrappy as... Read more »

The Blagojevichs Are Those People You Hate

I worked in retail for something like eight years. I was the girl at Marshall Fields they would call if you had a return that was obviously going to be a problem. I have no idea how many people I dealt with who would, you know, iron an iron-shaped burn into a shirt and claim... Read more »

Pat Quinn Takes Up Blago's Windbag Slack

Bill Brady seems to believe that he could beat Barack Obama if, perchance, Barack were running for governor of the state of Illinois. Delusional as that statement might be on it’s face, I don’t doubt it. While I’m sure all of America is impressed with the President’s plan to tackle the oil spill by waiting... Read more »