Posts in category "Celebrity Nonsense"

Bristol and The Situation and Something About Sex

I don’t know if I learned anything from this video except: (1) Damn, that’s really awkward and (2) I suspect that the Situation cannot actually memorize lines, which explains why everything he says revolves, in some way, around the words “The Situation.” (3) I don’t know for sure, but I think the Magnums are wishful... Read more »

A Dancing With the Stars Public Service Political Announcement

Attention Palin voters who are f***ing with my show: Look, I get it. Bristol Palin is the only Palin you can currently vote for, and, to some, booting her off the show prior to her sell-by date would have seemed like a vast left-wing conspiracy to hinder the entire Palin family regardless of political weight.... Read more »

Levi Johnson Reaches Pinnacle of His Career

Now that Bristol Palin has taken the upper hand with mediocre ballroom dancing (you know she’s mediocre, okay? If you’re a fan of Dancing With the Stars, you know it), Levi Johnston clearly feels he needs to reach new plateaus in his burgeoning fall from fame. This would, of course, explain why he is making... Read more »

Tragedy: Obama Has Lost Joey Lawrence

Obviously, we’re all waiting to hear what Blossom thinks. And why Fox News thinks this requires a headline. Actor Joey Lawrence would simply like to see Obama live up to his campaign of “hope” and take a little more responsibility for all the issues, good and bad, a th the top of the country’s national... Read more »

Bristol Palin to Dance With the Stars

You know, I always love a happy ending. Bristol Pain may have ended up single with her boyfriend and baby-daddy somewhere in LA apologizing for apologizing to her mother and faking an engagement and reconciliation while scoring some sort of reality television program, but she’s not staying down. Nope. She’s back in the saddle with... Read more »

Bristol and Levi Call It Quits But Is It Over?

As if no one saw this coming: Levi Johnston is such a publicity whore that he lured Bristol Palin into a romance rekindle in order to get his name back into the papers, then revealed that he may have knocked up some other chick and had every intention of moving to Los Angeles to begin... Read more »

Lady Gaga Is Against...Something

I’m pretty geeked to see Lady Gaga on Friday at Lolla, but I’m also pretty glad that I’ve stopped caring exactly what the people I trust to entertain me think about the world around them. Because otherwise Lady Gaga and I would have a disagreement on the subject of immigration. I think. Because I can’t... Read more »

Chelsea Clinton Is Richer Than You

Her mother might be selling DVDs to help pay off her campaign debt, but that’s not stopping Chelsea Clinton from spending a mint on her dream wedding in New York. Behold, the entirely estimated (by people “in the know”) Clinton wedding budget (click the link if you want a detailed explanation of each itemized expenditure):... Read more »

Sarah Palin To Go Camping With Kate Gosselin

Leave for a few days and this is what I miss. TLC’s original show about bad parenting (which, of course, defined the network), Kate Plus 8, will have a very special episode where the family travels to Alaska for a camping trip and survival less from America’s leading Republican candidate for the 2012 Presidential nomination,... Read more »

Bristol & Levi Get $100K, But No Reality Show

They may have ruined People magazine’s exclusive, but they came out ahead: Bristol and Levi got a hefty paycheck from Us Weekly for their family portraits and the news that they’re headed to the altar despite all common sense to the contrary. Money certainly talks. Our sources estimate Us Weekly paid $100,000 to Bristol Palin... Read more »