Mitt Romney is Team Jacob


The best part of a Presidential primary is watching the candidates, who for all intents and purposes are absolutely inhuman, struggle to relate to the common folk using what limited knowledge they have of popular culture. Sometimes, this involves twenty-year-old references to the early days of "hip-hop." Sometimes they managed to squeak in some Internet-gleaned language on American Idol, and sometimes, well, sometimes...

"I mean I like the Twilight series. I thought it was fun," Mitt Romney said.
"I don't like vampires personally, I don't know any but you know my
granddaughter was reading it and I thought, well this looks like fun so I
read that."

It's good that he clarified that he doesn't "like vampires personally." I, for one, was starting to get worried for a moment.

I'm not sure this helps to lock away the coveted Millennial voting bloc. Suffice it to say, while he may not like vampires personally, Team Edward is clearly on the winning end of this deal. I mean, anyone who's read the books knows that there's essentially no competition between Mitt's clearly favored candidate, the shirtless werewolf, and his sparkly, effeminate vampire nemesis. Team Edward, while clearly inferior in pure physical attractiveness, is, in the long term, a more vulnerable and less stable relationship choice. Although, in terms of rectifying his appeal with social conservatives given his "socialistic" tendency to defend an individual health-care mandate, it becomes clear why Mitt Romney might select the more manly half-canine.

Honestly, though, I'm fairly sure he's just saying this because Edward has significantly better hair, even, than Mitt Romney, and this kind of campaign vulnerability is just too much for him to take.

I am curious, now, however, his feelings on zombies.


Leave a comment
  • fb_avatar

    Mitt Romney could have logically been on Barack Obama’s Vice Presidential (VP) Short list in 2008 presidential run if Mitt Romney did not flip-flop from the views he held in MA.Mitt Romney is a chameleon and lacks a moral compass. Maybe Mitt Romney as a Moron :) I mean Mormon can support abortion. I honestly do not know enough about about the CULT of Mormonism to address the subject of Mitt Romney’s support of abortion. However as the founder of Bain Capital Mitt Romney was trying to make money NOT jobs. As such Mitt Romney was pocketed way in excess of 250+ million dollars that over a quarter of a billion dollars. By charging huge fees an leveraging the companies, another words a company goes out and borrow all it can to pay Bain Capital. Then Bain Capital goes public with these corpse companies to scam retirement funds and other stock investors. Bain Capital would then cash in their stock knowing fully it is worthless. The company eventually implodes and goes bankrupt screwing all it’s creditors and all the workers out of a job! In summary Mitt Romney is a leech on the back of the working man and woman. A Vampire who feasts on the suffering of others. I do however profusely apologize to Leeches and Vampires and other Blood suckers in making a comparison with them to the likes of Mitt Romney. I think for the future Health of the Republican party a true conservative should take the long view and cast a protest vote for Barack Obama if Mitt Romney is the Republican nominee and standard bearer. With Barack Obama you know what you are getting and Barack Obama tries to implement what Barack Obama promises. With a Mitt Romney President you never know what you will get. Simply put make the Republican party responsive to the Christian right that it now takes for granted. A in mass protest vote by all those who oppose Mitt Romney should make the Republican party reluctant in the future to produce another scumbag like Mitt Romney as it’s presidential nominee.

Leave a comment