Miley Cyrus Discovers Irony of Urban Outfitters, Hates Rick Santorum

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Rick Santorum is something else.

He once tried to outlaw the National Weather Service (not an entirely disagreeable position considering AccuWeather provides the same service without sucking up taxpayer funds), quoted Lord of the Rings in a speech about the Iraq War, has seen his name become Latin for "Asshole" and slang for a sexual position (Heh. Google that one for yourself), once got disowned by Bono, endorsed Arlen Specter for President, and finally, lost to faux pro-life Democrat Bob Casey in a landslide. He's expected to announce that he's inflicting his spray tan on the masses once again Tuesday, June 6, in a 2012 run for President.

And now, he's been roundly hated on Twitter by none other than Miley Cyrus.

The teen pop sensation took to Twitter to ding Rick Santorum in a roundabout way Thursday.

Cyrus isn't a fan of Urban Outfitters after stories emerged alleging
that the store has copied jewelry designs, so she pointed out that the
company's president had contributed to Santorum.

"IF WE ALLOW GAY MARRIAGE NEXT THING U KNOW PEOPLE WILL BE MARRYING GOLD
FISH' -- Rick Santorum UO contributed $13,000 to this mans campaign" tweeted Cyrus, mocking Santorum for some earlier remarks regarding gay marriage.

Now, clearly Cyrus does not understand the intricacies of civil rights law, such that she would be considered an expert on the current political climate as it applies to gay marriage, but no one has ever questioned the intelligence of celebrities on any number of political matters, and Cyrus has something like a million followers. Unfortunately for Santorum, if they're dumb enough to consume Miley's horrendous music, they're probably dumb enough to take her advice on matters of the voting booth.

That said, Miley and millions of others like her on Twitter appear to have only recently discovered that not only does Urban Outfitters (the "UO" she referenced in her tweet) gratuitously rip off the intellectual property of trust fund hipster artists in any number of collectivists Brooklyn units, but it's parent company and CEO also give copiously to conservative causes. Meaning, of course, that hipsters and wannabe hipsters in every suburban 'burg and college town in the country have been purchasing their Obama paraphernalia at a store that directly supports pretty much everything they claim to stand against, thus truly participating in the irony they only claim to understand.

Yep, you read that correctly. Millions of art and English majors America over have been frittering away their parents trust funds on fancy sketchbooks, floral Hammer pants, novelty wall art, cannabis cookbooks, vinyl records and associated headgear, Bob Dylan tee shirts and retro plastic eyeglasses, and all the while they've been actively contributing to the social conservative wing of the Republican party.

It's almost too delicious to bear. I can just see the modernistic poetry being written now. Jotted down on tear-stained parchment nestled inside an acid-green, vegan leather Moleskine, and the issue discussed at length over glasses of Trader Joe's Merlot at pop-up restaurants serving $20 tacos inside the skeletal remains of an abandoned warehouse. Mustaches will quiver. Fixies will fall over in agony at the thought of how the cost of their tiny bell went to support a man who is still pretty sure Intelligent Design is a reasonable replacement for evolutionary theory in American science classrooms. I see a number of Zazzle bumper-stickers in their future.

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaa.

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  • WAIT A MINUTE!!!

    "...considering AccuWeather provides the same service without sucking up taxpayer funds)..." What have you been smoking Emily? I wonder if you ever heard of Joplin Missouri or Tuscaloosa Alabama. If AccuWeather is even capable of giving a half hour lead time, how can they afford to run a network of several hundred radars with a few dozen forecasters in a windowless office in Pennsylvania? Or if they really want to be in a position to be sued for missing a warning. The government's weather people do it for the price of a basic Wendy's Single Combo for each citizen, anc cheerfully answering phones to callers. Would you like to pay to call some company in State College PA about the weather?

    Hell I can't even remember what the original article was about.
    Oh it was "Miley Cyrus hates Rick Santorum".

    Watch what you do with your own opinions in parentheses, Emily.

  • "Youth culture has always been about figuring out social status and doing a lot of social jockeying through whatever medium is available. The lewd photos often come from youth trying out the markers of adult culture -- sexual performance, drinking, etc."
    http://bocatanningclub.com/

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