Archive for April 2010

Are You Ready for Senator Rahm?

Somehow the WSJ is surprised to find out that the Illinois Democratic Party and their federal extension is drooling all over itself at the prospect of Alexi Giannoulias crapping out in his Senate bid. Yes, it’s late in the game, but let’s be honest: Sexy Lexi can’t win this thing: bankrupt banks that lent to... Read more »

Sorry, Charlie

People don’t like Charlie Crist. I don’t like Charlie Crist. He reminds me of a really tall Oompa-Loompa. I keep wanting to see him dancing around with lollipops and telling me stories about how deviating from universally-accepted moral values is going to get me murdered in a grotesque-yet-totally-improbable way by a candy-making machine. I want... Read more »

Not Your Average Fundraiser

You probably can’t afford the $10K to $25K you need to buy yourself a spot at Sarah Palin’s Illinois GOP fundraiser (don’t worry, Mark Kirk seems to be in the same boat). But if you can spare $20, you can, instead, buy yourself a night of fun at the Admiral Theater, who is hosting a... Read more »

Asian Carp: Just Eat It.

Yesterday, Michigan Attorney General Mike Cox lost a bid to re-open a 1920s case about waterway ownership in front of the Supreme Court, allowing Asian carp to, according to popular understanding, run amok over the Great Lakes, wreaking havoc from shore to shore, raping, pillaging, spreading that horrific fishy smell they have across the pristine... Read more »

Steny Hoyer Does The Electric Slide

Would I lie about something like this? No. Well, maybe, if I wanted to Rick Roll you, but the video is posted below. This could only get better if Nancy Pelosi were somehow involved. Sadly, no. But that doesn’t mean there won’t be opportunities in the future.

The Todd Redecorates

He’s not going to win re-election, but he is going to make sure the office looks fabulous for the next denizen. Or he’s going through a period of very serious denial. I vote for the latter. Hmmm. Let’s take a trip to Strogerland, shall we, and ask these questions when we get there. • Question No.... Read more »

Blago Gets Creative, Subpoenas Obama

So there’s this theory out there about Kim Kardashian. It seems every month around the same time, she does something spectacularly stupid on Twitter and use it to make sure she stays in the news on social media in a regular cycle. It’s brilliant for its simplicity. Keep doing crazy sh*t and the world will... Read more »

Blago's Temper Tantrum

Everything Rod does is bizarre, but the press conferences…the press conferences nearly always take the cake. Former Gov. Rod Blagojevich strutted up to a bank of microphones outside his lawyers’ offices in jeans, a blazer and television makeup Tuesday and all but challenged U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald to a duel at 10 paces. Fitzgerald lied... Read more »

Getting Green

SO. I’m celebrating Earth Day. Yes, this is a 180 from the Earth Day celebration I initiated two years ago, where I repeatedly drove my SUV past a hippie drum circle in Ann Arbor spraying Aqua Net out my window. No, I’m not getting all soft on you and going to spend the afternoon hugging... Read more »

Rahm Running for Mayor?

I called it, bitches! He wants to be Mayor and not just in the Foursquare sense. White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel has acknowledged that he would like to be mayor of Chicago at some time in the future. In an interview with PBS host Charlie Rose to be run late Monday night, Emanuel... Read more »